Crossroads
Youth
Raising up the Next generation to impact
our families, city, and world for Jesus.
our families, city, and world for Jesus.
FIRST CHURCH YOUTH
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Our mission is to reach the youth today develop an authentic relationship with Christ by knowing, experiencing, studying, and sharing God with their world to affect the kingdom tomorrow. And our vision is for every one of our youth to be:
POSITIVE that God loves them and that He has a good plan and purpose for their lives PERSUADED that God’s way really is the best way PASSIONATE for Jesus Christ, for His church, for the needy, and for the lost PREPARED for life, for relationships, for service, and for leadership |
CROSSROADS YG MEET TIMEThe Crossroads YG meets on a regular schedule for fun, faith, and fellowship. If you are in High School, feel free to drop by and join us as we celebrate what God has done for us through a variety of activities, events, and service projects.
We meet on the First and Third Friday nights of each month from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm |
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TEEN EMOTIONS (MENTAL HEALTH
Have you ever reacted to your teenagers' emotional waves in ways you weren't proud of? We've all been there.
Being a parent is hard. We are more invested in our kids than anyone else. We deeply care how they mature and grow, and sometimes these desperate feelings intertwine our emotions with our teen’s emotions. Has your teenager ever told you that "my _____ understands (and cares for!) me better than you!" Ugh. These words sting our parental hearts.
So why do our teenagers respond in this way?
Having other caring adults in our teens' lives is so important. These mentors provide a space of safety and compassion for our children and a platform beyond the parental voice that our teens can become numb to at times. Yet - these folks don’t have to care as much as we do. At times, they will have a more neutral perspective and a more persuasive ability than we, as parents. There’s less at stake for them.
We don’t get the luxury of the emotional (and physical) distance that their teachers, coaches, mentors, and youth pastors have. They are simply outside observers and cheerleaders in our children's lives. Their involvement in our teen’s life probably has an end date - and has its limits.
What I'm saying is: we have permission to cut ourselves some slack. There will probably be moments when we need to apologize to our teens because we didn’t give them the attention or care that they needed. Or perhaps when we didn’t respond calmly or kindly to a heated situation. Every person in human history has been raised by imperfect parents. We’re all in good company.
Thankfully, we have a Mediator in Heaven who empathizes with us. Jesus’ way often involves feeling more, not less.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
Being a parent is hard. We are more invested in our kids than anyone else. We deeply care how they mature and grow, and sometimes these desperate feelings intertwine our emotions with our teen’s emotions. Has your teenager ever told you that "my _____ understands (and cares for!) me better than you!" Ugh. These words sting our parental hearts.
So why do our teenagers respond in this way?
Having other caring adults in our teens' lives is so important. These mentors provide a space of safety and compassion for our children and a platform beyond the parental voice that our teens can become numb to at times. Yet - these folks don’t have to care as much as we do. At times, they will have a more neutral perspective and a more persuasive ability than we, as parents. There’s less at stake for them.
We don’t get the luxury of the emotional (and physical) distance that their teachers, coaches, mentors, and youth pastors have. They are simply outside observers and cheerleaders in our children's lives. Their involvement in our teen’s life probably has an end date - and has its limits.
What I'm saying is: we have permission to cut ourselves some slack. There will probably be moments when we need to apologize to our teens because we didn’t give them the attention or care that they needed. Or perhaps when we didn’t respond calmly or kindly to a heated situation. Every person in human history has been raised by imperfect parents. We’re all in good company.
Thankfully, we have a Mediator in Heaven who empathizes with us. Jesus’ way often involves feeling more, not less.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO ADDICTION
Whether it's your kid or someone in your teen's life, dealing with addictive behaviors and habits is really tough. We deeply love our kids, and seeing them hurt themselves and those around them is devastating. This week we are going to talk about some practical ways to work alongside the teen in your life as they battle to overcome addictive behaviors. And as always, forward this on to someone you know who might need help.
My child struggles with an addiction. Now what?
Fact: almost anything can become addictive. For some kids, it is video games or their phones. For some, it’s a chemical substance. For some, it is cutting or self-injury. And the list goes on. That’s a pretty scary realization for most parents.
Key points for caring adults to remember:
There are two major steps that you and your child must take to get things out into the light (almost all addictive behavior happens in the shadows). The first is that before you talk to your child about their struggle, you have to stay calm. It is easy for care and deep concern to manifest as fear of frustration or anger. If you approach your child with these feelings on display, no good will come of it. The second is to try and get your child to acknowledge addiction. If a kid is in denial, they will not be open to receiving help. It is only when they can admit their struggle that they can begin the process of overcoming the thing they are addicted to.
A few questions will help get the conversation started:
Q: Here is a behavior I observe. What am I missing?
This is an open-ended question that will give your child an on-ramp to begin talking about that behavior in a non-defensive posture. Maybe they are embarrassed or will be angry with you for even bringing it up, but asking about what you don’t know gives them a chance to come clean.
Q: How can I help?
As soon as an addict admits that they need help, you have to be ready and willing to help them. So have a plan ready to be put in place if they need it. That may mean looking into AA meetings or proposing accountability software on their devices.
One way or another, if they need help, be prepared to be that help! Addiction is scary, but it is also common, which means millions of other parents are going through the same thing.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie & Toben at AXIS
My child struggles with an addiction. Now what?
Fact: almost anything can become addictive. For some kids, it is video games or their phones. For some, it’s a chemical substance. For some, it is cutting or self-injury. And the list goes on. That’s a pretty scary realization for most parents.
Key points for caring adults to remember:
There are two major steps that you and your child must take to get things out into the light (almost all addictive behavior happens in the shadows). The first is that before you talk to your child about their struggle, you have to stay calm. It is easy for care and deep concern to manifest as fear of frustration or anger. If you approach your child with these feelings on display, no good will come of it. The second is to try and get your child to acknowledge addiction. If a kid is in denial, they will not be open to receiving help. It is only when they can admit their struggle that they can begin the process of overcoming the thing they are addicted to.
A few questions will help get the conversation started:
Q: Here is a behavior I observe. What am I missing?
This is an open-ended question that will give your child an on-ramp to begin talking about that behavior in a non-defensive posture. Maybe they are embarrassed or will be angry with you for even bringing it up, but asking about what you don’t know gives them a chance to come clean.
Q: How can I help?
As soon as an addict admits that they need help, you have to be ready and willing to help them. So have a plan ready to be put in place if they need it. That may mean looking into AA meetings or proposing accountability software on their devices.
One way or another, if they need help, be prepared to be that help! Addiction is scary, but it is also common, which means millions of other parents are going through the same thing.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie & Toben at AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO PURPOSE
As parents of older teens, gone are the days of the "simple" questions about their little worlds:
Why is the sky blue?
Why do dogs bark?
Why aren't dinosaurs still roaming the earth?
These seemingly impossible questions to answer (as we were driving through the never-ending traffic of school drop-off lines) have been replaced with:
Where should I go to college?
What should I major in?
Should I even go to college?
Does God even listen to questions from a kid like me?
Perhaps you are in the never-ending cycle of pushing into these big, transitional life topics with your teen. Or perhaps you find yourself wishing your child would just be willing to open up and ask these big questions. As we move from hands-on parenting to sideline coaching, one of the topics of our ongoing conversations is all about life's purpose. And while we certainly don't have our own lives figured out all the time, we all long for our emerging young adults to be filled with clarity, hope, and a purpose for their lives. So how do we guide our teens towards understanding the value of living a purposeful life in a world that screams otherwise?
Try these conversation starters with your teen:
Q. What do you do when life doesn't go your way? Do you give up and go in a different direction? Does a bump in the road mean you are traveling in the wrong direction?
A. Let's start by understanding that suffering is part of life, and frankly, life is just not fair. Even when we are closely communing with God, following His leading, and walking in the way Jesus would walk, bad things - disappointing things - are still going to be part of our lives. There are A LOT of examples of courageous, bold, and wise folks in the Bible who experienced their fair share of sadness and suffering.
Q. Does your "talent" act as an indicator of what God's purpose for your life might be? Like some sort of mysterious code?
A. Harsh truth: just because we are uniquely good at something or have a talent that we believe the world needs to see, doesn't necessarily mean it's our sign from God that He wishes for us to be it. If this were true, I should have been a champion hula hooper!
Encourage your teen to thank God for his uniqueness and enjoy the talents he has been given. But understand that sometimes talents are to be enjoyed and shared but not always used as a north star for determining one's purpose.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
Why is the sky blue?
Why do dogs bark?
Why aren't dinosaurs still roaming the earth?
These seemingly impossible questions to answer (as we were driving through the never-ending traffic of school drop-off lines) have been replaced with:
Where should I go to college?
What should I major in?
Should I even go to college?
Does God even listen to questions from a kid like me?
Perhaps you are in the never-ending cycle of pushing into these big, transitional life topics with your teen. Or perhaps you find yourself wishing your child would just be willing to open up and ask these big questions. As we move from hands-on parenting to sideline coaching, one of the topics of our ongoing conversations is all about life's purpose. And while we certainly don't have our own lives figured out all the time, we all long for our emerging young adults to be filled with clarity, hope, and a purpose for their lives. So how do we guide our teens towards understanding the value of living a purposeful life in a world that screams otherwise?
Try these conversation starters with your teen:
Q. What do you do when life doesn't go your way? Do you give up and go in a different direction? Does a bump in the road mean you are traveling in the wrong direction?
A. Let's start by understanding that suffering is part of life, and frankly, life is just not fair. Even when we are closely communing with God, following His leading, and walking in the way Jesus would walk, bad things - disappointing things - are still going to be part of our lives. There are A LOT of examples of courageous, bold, and wise folks in the Bible who experienced their fair share of sadness and suffering.
Q. Does your "talent" act as an indicator of what God's purpose for your life might be? Like some sort of mysterious code?
A. Harsh truth: just because we are uniquely good at something or have a talent that we believe the world needs to see, doesn't necessarily mean it's our sign from God that He wishes for us to be it. If this were true, I should have been a champion hula hooper!
Encourage your teen to thank God for his uniqueness and enjoy the talents he has been given. But understand that sometimes talents are to be enjoyed and shared but not always used as a north star for determining one's purpose.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TIKTOK
Parenting tweens and teens is not for the faint of heart. Let's face it - our kids are growing up in a world that is vastly different than the one you and I grew up in. My boys shake their heads in disbelief when I remind them that I didn't have a cell phone until I was 20! Easy accessibility plus content relentlessly flooding our kids' lives makes for a parenting journey that can feel like a battlefield at times. And if you are like me, you sometimes feel like you are marching towards the line without a map of any kind.
Meet Marisa. Marisa is Axis' social media guru and mom of teenagers herself! We asked her to answer the burning question...
What is the one platform that every parent needs to have the best understanding of?
TikTok.
I truly believe TikTok has a form of digital nicotine in its algorithm. It can be addicting. It can also be a really cool, creative outlet. When I watch some videos on TikTok, I find myself thinking, “How did they think of that?” and ”How did they do that?” Some teens and young adults really get creative and get to showcase their talents and humor on the platform. On the other hand, TikTok can be scary as a parent.
The TikTok algorithm is one of the most sophisticated algorithms of our time and provides personalized content recommendations for each user. It decides which videos a user might like based on their individual interests and displays them on the user’s "For You" page. This sounds like every other social media platform, but TikTok laser focuses on how long you hover, rewatch, or sit still on a video, and from there it hyper analyzes and rabbit holes you.
For example - let’s say your teen is having a rough day and watches a TikTok about someone who is struggling that day and contains sad content. Then they like the video. TikTok’s algorithm goes “hmmm...she liked this, let me show her more like this.” Soon your teen is seeing 80% of their "For You" page filled with videos talking about depression, mental health, and potentially discouraging Debbie Downer videos.
It’s imperative that parents stay in-the-know about the latest TikTok trends and know social media algorithms at a high level so that we, as trusted adults, can have informed conversations with our teens. I believe teens, being teens, unintentionally take advantage of the fact their little old parents don’t understand how social media works and get exposed to and away with more. And that’s where the trouble starts. TikTok and all social media can be a great outlet for teens to connect with friends and watch some fun content creators, but like with all things, is only healthy with careful balance.
Meet Marisa. Marisa is Axis' social media guru and mom of teenagers herself! We asked her to answer the burning question...
What is the one platform that every parent needs to have the best understanding of?
TikTok.
I truly believe TikTok has a form of digital nicotine in its algorithm. It can be addicting. It can also be a really cool, creative outlet. When I watch some videos on TikTok, I find myself thinking, “How did they think of that?” and ”How did they do that?” Some teens and young adults really get creative and get to showcase their talents and humor on the platform. On the other hand, TikTok can be scary as a parent.
The TikTok algorithm is one of the most sophisticated algorithms of our time and provides personalized content recommendations for each user. It decides which videos a user might like based on their individual interests and displays them on the user’s "For You" page. This sounds like every other social media platform, but TikTok laser focuses on how long you hover, rewatch, or sit still on a video, and from there it hyper analyzes and rabbit holes you.
For example - let’s say your teen is having a rough day and watches a TikTok about someone who is struggling that day and contains sad content. Then they like the video. TikTok’s algorithm goes “hmmm...she liked this, let me show her more like this.” Soon your teen is seeing 80% of their "For You" page filled with videos talking about depression, mental health, and potentially discouraging Debbie Downer videos.
It’s imperative that parents stay in-the-know about the latest TikTok trends and know social media algorithms at a high level so that we, as trusted adults, can have informed conversations with our teens. I believe teens, being teens, unintentionally take advantage of the fact their little old parents don’t understand how social media works and get exposed to and away with more. And that’s where the trouble starts. TikTok and all social media can be a great outlet for teens to connect with friends and watch some fun content creators, but like with all things, is only healthy with careful balance.
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO VIOLENCE
Today we are going to tackle a tough subject together -- one that has become heavy on the hearts of all of us in America as we have watched horrors unfold on national television. If you are like me, on the afternoon of May 24th, you clutched your children tightly as tears rolled down your cheeks. How could this happen to our children? In the "safety" of their schools? Again? Literally every parent's worst nightmare.
I have no words but those of extreme empathy and love for all those moms and dads who are walking through these dark days in Texas. But to be honest, I also have feelings of confusion, fear, and anger. Why is our youth facing so much violence in their tiny worlds today? What kind of long-lasting effects is this reality going to have?
In a violent world, it’s hard to avoid the topic. For teens, who already have big emotions, violence is an even harder concept to grasp, and they often find themselves caught up in its repercussions.
The Bible tells us that God is good. Exodus 34:6 says, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth.” Still, it can be hard to believe that, especially when violent events seem to happen every day.
A huge piece of talking about violence is not talking; it’s listening. Violence has an emotional impact. Violence is horrible, and the emotions it carries with it are difficult to shoulder. Your teen may be in pain, and the best thing to do for someone who’s in pain is to listen. No matter what political or personal opinions you hold about something, a teen who’s feeling overwhelmed by the pain an event has caused isn’t likely to be in a position to hear them. So be the listening ear they need, and tell them you understand why they’re feeling the way they feel.
START THE CONVERSATION
I have no words but those of extreme empathy and love for all those moms and dads who are walking through these dark days in Texas. But to be honest, I also have feelings of confusion, fear, and anger. Why is our youth facing so much violence in their tiny worlds today? What kind of long-lasting effects is this reality going to have?
In a violent world, it’s hard to avoid the topic. For teens, who already have big emotions, violence is an even harder concept to grasp, and they often find themselves caught up in its repercussions.
The Bible tells us that God is good. Exodus 34:6 says, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth.” Still, it can be hard to believe that, especially when violent events seem to happen every day.
A huge piece of talking about violence is not talking; it’s listening. Violence has an emotional impact. Violence is horrible, and the emotions it carries with it are difficult to shoulder. Your teen may be in pain, and the best thing to do for someone who’s in pain is to listen. No matter what political or personal opinions you hold about something, a teen who’s feeling overwhelmed by the pain an event has caused isn’t likely to be in a position to hear them. So be the listening ear they need, and tell them you understand why they’re feeling the way they feel.
START THE CONVERSATION
- Less talking and more listening. Our kids have a lot to say about their observations, feelings, and fears about what they are seeing and hearing. Ask leading questions and let them talk through their feelings.
- Validate those strong emotions. There is no doubt that our kids (who already have BIG emotions going on right now! 🙈) will feel intense feelings about their world. Don't undervalue how they feel.
- Turn their passion into purpose. Our kids are not too young to make a remarkable difference in this hurting world. And we, as parents, can be lucky enough to have a front-row seat.
- Invite our God into our unrest. These moments are great opportunities for our teens to learn about who God is and what He thinks about our fears, feelings, and frustrations.
SO THAT ALL PEOPLE WILL EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF CHRIST