Crossroads
Youth Group
Raising up the Next generation to impact
our families, city, and world for Jesus.
our families, city, and world for Jesus.
FIRST CHURCH YOUTH
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Our mission is to reach the youth today develop an authentic relationship with Christ by knowing, experiencing, studying, and sharing God with their world to affect the kingdom tomorrow. And our vision is for every one of our youth to be:
POSITIVE that God loves them and that He has a good plan and purpose for their lives PERSUADED that God’s way really is the best way PASSIONATE for Jesus Christ, for His church, for the needy, and for the lost PREPARED for life, for relationships, for service, and for leadership |
CROSSROADS YG MEET TIMEThe Crossroads YG meets on a regular schedule for fun, faith, and fellowship. If you are in High School, feel free to drop by and join us as we celebrate what God has done for us through a variety of activities, events, and service projects.
We meet on the First and Third Friday nights of each month from 7:00 pm to 9:00 pm |
A SIMPLE DEFENSE AGAINST ATHEISM
For Christian parents, there’s a source of anxiety: that creeps in as they bring their young adults to the college campuses across the nation, and it is this: will our children lose their faith in college?
This worry is well-founded. President of the Barna Group, David Kinnaman, reports that in 2019, 64% of 18-24 year olds “who were once regular churchgoers have dropped out at one time or another.” There’s not a single cause that’s responsible for this massive drop, but one major contributor that needs to be addressed is naturalism. (Kinnaman, Matlock, and Hawkins 2019)
Sean Carroll, a theoretical physicist from Caltech and leading advocate for naturalism, defines this view as “a philosophy according to which there is only one world – the natural world, which exhibits unbroken patterns (the laws of nature), and which we can learn about through hypothesis testing and observation. In particular, there is no supernatural world – no gods, no spirits, no transcendent meanings.”
This definition alone makes it abundantly clear that naturalism is incompatible with Christianity, and its advocates make no apologies about it. Furthermore, naturalism is a pervasive worldview at the university, especially among philosophers and scientists. In order to explain the origin and apparent design of the material world around us, the naturalist is pushed to endorse the idea that there is an infinite number of material universes, which have collectively existed eternally. In order to explain the simple existence of our moral intuitions and the objective reality of morality, the naturalist is pushed to endorse the unlikely hypothesis that, as a happy accident, evolution blessed us with true beliefs about morality. In both cases, the naturalist retreats to positions that are weak in both logic and evidence. It appears that the naturalist is guilty of something Christians are often criticized for: blind leaps of faith!
None of the explanatory strategies from the naturalist is very intellectually satisfying. On the other hand, the Christian worldview can offer simple, elegant, satisfying explanations of all of these things by postulating just one thing: the existence of a certain kind of God. This idea has the advantage over naturalism that it is independently supported by hundreds of credible arguments.
If there is any threat to the Christian faith due to naturalism, then, it is not because there is rational pressure to adopt naturalism. Christian parents can have confidence that, if their students genuinely set their minds to know the truth by following the evidence, the Lord will strengthen their faith. You can get the download of, “A Simple Defense Against Atheism” by going to the Crossroads Youth Group page online: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
This worry is well-founded. President of the Barna Group, David Kinnaman, reports that in 2019, 64% of 18-24 year olds “who were once regular churchgoers have dropped out at one time or another.” There’s not a single cause that’s responsible for this massive drop, but one major contributor that needs to be addressed is naturalism. (Kinnaman, Matlock, and Hawkins 2019)
Sean Carroll, a theoretical physicist from Caltech and leading advocate for naturalism, defines this view as “a philosophy according to which there is only one world – the natural world, which exhibits unbroken patterns (the laws of nature), and which we can learn about through hypothesis testing and observation. In particular, there is no supernatural world – no gods, no spirits, no transcendent meanings.”
This definition alone makes it abundantly clear that naturalism is incompatible with Christianity, and its advocates make no apologies about it. Furthermore, naturalism is a pervasive worldview at the university, especially among philosophers and scientists. In order to explain the origin and apparent design of the material world around us, the naturalist is pushed to endorse the idea that there is an infinite number of material universes, which have collectively existed eternally. In order to explain the simple existence of our moral intuitions and the objective reality of morality, the naturalist is pushed to endorse the unlikely hypothesis that, as a happy accident, evolution blessed us with true beliefs about morality. In both cases, the naturalist retreats to positions that are weak in both logic and evidence. It appears that the naturalist is guilty of something Christians are often criticized for: blind leaps of faith!
None of the explanatory strategies from the naturalist is very intellectually satisfying. On the other hand, the Christian worldview can offer simple, elegant, satisfying explanations of all of these things by postulating just one thing: the existence of a certain kind of God. This idea has the advantage over naturalism that it is independently supported by hundreds of credible arguments.
If there is any threat to the Christian faith due to naturalism, then, it is not because there is rational pressure to adopt naturalism. Christian parents can have confidence that, if their students genuinely set their minds to know the truth by following the evidence, the Lord will strengthen their faith. You can get the download of, “A Simple Defense Against Atheism” by going to the Crossroads Youth Group page online: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
HARD QUESTIONS ABOUT FAITH
“It’s not time to worry yet.”
Those simple words from To Kill a Mockingbird speak directly into the heart of every parent who has ever found themselves overwhelmed by anxiety. The truth is, there’s rarely a “convenient” time to worry, but worry rarely waits for a proper invitation—it shows up unannounced, right when we’re trying to hold everything together.
Fear and worry are part of life, especially in today’s world. Merriam-Webster defines fear as “an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” It’s our built-in alarm system—sometimes helpful, like when a car suddenly swerves into our lane. But it can also misfire, warning us of threats that don’t really exist, stealing our peace and planting seeds of long-term anxiety.
While fear often happens in a moment, worry has staying power. Worry takes that moment of fear and replays it, over and over, magnifying the threat and robbing us of confidence. And when we’re tangled in our own worry, it can feel impossible to help our kids through theirs.
This is especially important for today’s young people. Studies show Gen Z is facing immense fears—from school safety and terrorism to economic insecurity and mental health struggles. These outward dangers cause inward turmoil. It’s no wonder that so many are battling anxiety and stress on a daily basis.
But Scripture gives us another way. Over and over, God tells His people, “Do not be afraid.” In fact, that exact phrase appears at least 70 times in the NIV—almost always followed by a reminder of what God is doing. He promises protection, deliverance, victory. He is not blind to our fears—He speaks right into them.
Of course, that doesn’t mean the battle is over. As 1 Peter 5:8-9 warns us, the enemy is like a roaring lion seeking to devour, often using subtle distractions or ongoing worry to derail us from our purpose. But we are not powerless. When we shift our focus from the fears of this world to the promises of God’s Word, we model a different way of living for our children.
Proverbs 14:26 reminds us, “Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.” As we trust in God and take intentional steps—whether seeking Scripture, godly community, or professional help—we not only gain peace, we build a refuge for our kids. Let’s remember: peace isn’t the absence of problems—it’s the presence of Christ. He told us, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Let’s live like we believe that.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
Those simple words from To Kill a Mockingbird speak directly into the heart of every parent who has ever found themselves overwhelmed by anxiety. The truth is, there’s rarely a “convenient” time to worry, but worry rarely waits for a proper invitation—it shows up unannounced, right when we’re trying to hold everything together.
Fear and worry are part of life, especially in today’s world. Merriam-Webster defines fear as “an unpleasant, often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” It’s our built-in alarm system—sometimes helpful, like when a car suddenly swerves into our lane. But it can also misfire, warning us of threats that don’t really exist, stealing our peace and planting seeds of long-term anxiety.
While fear often happens in a moment, worry has staying power. Worry takes that moment of fear and replays it, over and over, magnifying the threat and robbing us of confidence. And when we’re tangled in our own worry, it can feel impossible to help our kids through theirs.
This is especially important for today’s young people. Studies show Gen Z is facing immense fears—from school safety and terrorism to economic insecurity and mental health struggles. These outward dangers cause inward turmoil. It’s no wonder that so many are battling anxiety and stress on a daily basis.
But Scripture gives us another way. Over and over, God tells His people, “Do not be afraid.” In fact, that exact phrase appears at least 70 times in the NIV—almost always followed by a reminder of what God is doing. He promises protection, deliverance, victory. He is not blind to our fears—He speaks right into them.
Of course, that doesn’t mean the battle is over. As 1 Peter 5:8-9 warns us, the enemy is like a roaring lion seeking to devour, often using subtle distractions or ongoing worry to derail us from our purpose. But we are not powerless. When we shift our focus from the fears of this world to the promises of God’s Word, we model a different way of living for our children.
Proverbs 14:26 reminds us, “Whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for their children it will be a refuge.” As we trust in God and take intentional steps—whether seeking Scripture, godly community, or professional help—we not only gain peace, we build a refuge for our kids. Let’s remember: peace isn’t the absence of problems—it’s the presence of Christ. He told us, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Let’s live like we believe that.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO GEN ALPHA
Have you ever looked across the table at your Gen Alpha son or daughter and felt like you were looking at someone you just met? How could this person—your very own kid—be so totally and completely different from you? From what they care about and how they communicate to the values they hold, it can feel like the generation gap between you and your rapidly growing child is wider than you ever thought possible.
In the United States, the most recent generation of children born and coming of age in the 21st century is Gen Alpha. With the youngest members being born in 2024 and the oldest freshly entering their teen years, the events, characteristics, and views that will shape them are yet to be determined in a lot of ways. Their lives and their world are both still unfolding. With that in mind, we’ll use this guide to look at how generations have changed over time, what has shaped Gen Alpha so far, and how you can use that knowledge to better understand and connect with the kids in your life.
We can define a “generation” as “a group of people born within a certain period of time whose shared age and experiences shape a distinct worldview.” For members of Gen Z, the integration of technology into their daily lives was a growing necessity. In their lifetime, the internet became a key part of everyday life and social media showed up in the early 2000s. Those combined to create a world where things like smartphones, laptops, and tablets weren’t just a preference; they were a must-have to make it in an overwhelming digital world.
Thanks at least in part to the COVID-19 pandemic, traditional education has undergone incredible change, and Gen Alpha will grow up in a world where hybrid forms of education that integrate both in-person classroom experiences and online learning are prominent. As Springtide Research Institute puts it, “online and digital learning will be a core part of their educational experience.” While there are all kinds of things we can do to pour into, show up for, and encourage Gen Alpha as they grow up, we’re going to focus on just a few key ways we as Christians can support them.
• Care about what they care about
• Emphasize authenticity and honesty
• Create Opportunities for connection
• Meet them where they are
• Reframe the way they see failure
• Model faith for them in your own life
• Pray for them
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
In the United States, the most recent generation of children born and coming of age in the 21st century is Gen Alpha. With the youngest members being born in 2024 and the oldest freshly entering their teen years, the events, characteristics, and views that will shape them are yet to be determined in a lot of ways. Their lives and their world are both still unfolding. With that in mind, we’ll use this guide to look at how generations have changed over time, what has shaped Gen Alpha so far, and how you can use that knowledge to better understand and connect with the kids in your life.
We can define a “generation” as “a group of people born within a certain period of time whose shared age and experiences shape a distinct worldview.” For members of Gen Z, the integration of technology into their daily lives was a growing necessity. In their lifetime, the internet became a key part of everyday life and social media showed up in the early 2000s. Those combined to create a world where things like smartphones, laptops, and tablets weren’t just a preference; they were a must-have to make it in an overwhelming digital world.
Thanks at least in part to the COVID-19 pandemic, traditional education has undergone incredible change, and Gen Alpha will grow up in a world where hybrid forms of education that integrate both in-person classroom experiences and online learning are prominent. As Springtide Research Institute puts it, “online and digital learning will be a core part of their educational experience.” While there are all kinds of things we can do to pour into, show up for, and encourage Gen Alpha as they grow up, we’re going to focus on just a few key ways we as Christians can support them.
• Care about what they care about
• Emphasize authenticity and honesty
• Create Opportunities for connection
• Meet them where they are
• Reframe the way they see failure
• Model faith for them in your own life
• Pray for them
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
HARD QUESTIONS ABOUT FAITH
If your teen is asking hard questions about faith, you don’t have to feel alone.
That’s part of why we decided to make a short film.
Have your teenagers ever asked you a question that stopped you in your tracks? One of those moments where they looked to you for guidance, and you suddenly felt the weight of not having the perfect answer?
It’s a moment every parent dreads: standing face-to-face with our children’s raw pain or confusion and realizing we can’t fix it with a simple, polished answer. In our new short film, The Drive, Adri asks her dad one of life’s hardest questions: “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
Her voice cracks as she wrestles with her own pain and the brokenness she sees in the world. Her question isn’t just a cry for answers—it’s a reflection of her struggle to reconcile God’s goodness with the suffering she’s witnessed.
The truth is, this world is broken. Pain and hardship are part of our reality, and even as adults, we don’t always have a clear explanation. But what if parenting isn’t about always having the right answers? What if it’s more about showing our teens the vulnerability of not knowing, and then inviting them to seek God alongside us?
In those hard moments, we can let them know their pain or their questions are valid, share our own struggles so they don’t feel alone, and partner with them in faith, praying together and leaning on God to find peace, even when answers feel out of reach.
Our kids don’t need us to have everything figured out, they need to know we’re walking this road with them. When they see us seeking God through life’s hardest questions, they learn that faith isn’t about perfection; it’s about relationships.
We created The Drive to capture these everyday moments of connection and conversation between parents and their teens. Adri’s story reminds us that the hardest questions are often the ones that bring us closer to each other and to God. Go to www.firstcong.org/youth to watch the film.
Continue the conversation:
If you could ask God one question, what would you ask?
When bad things happen, where do you look for comfort or hope?
Parenting Together,
Axis Team
That’s part of why we decided to make a short film.
Have your teenagers ever asked you a question that stopped you in your tracks? One of those moments where they looked to you for guidance, and you suddenly felt the weight of not having the perfect answer?
It’s a moment every parent dreads: standing face-to-face with our children’s raw pain or confusion and realizing we can’t fix it with a simple, polished answer. In our new short film, The Drive, Adri asks her dad one of life’s hardest questions: “Why do bad things happen to good people?”
Her voice cracks as she wrestles with her own pain and the brokenness she sees in the world. Her question isn’t just a cry for answers—it’s a reflection of her struggle to reconcile God’s goodness with the suffering she’s witnessed.
The truth is, this world is broken. Pain and hardship are part of our reality, and even as adults, we don’t always have a clear explanation. But what if parenting isn’t about always having the right answers? What if it’s more about showing our teens the vulnerability of not knowing, and then inviting them to seek God alongside us?
In those hard moments, we can let them know their pain or their questions are valid, share our own struggles so they don’t feel alone, and partner with them in faith, praying together and leaning on God to find peace, even when answers feel out of reach.
Our kids don’t need us to have everything figured out, they need to know we’re walking this road with them. When they see us seeking God through life’s hardest questions, they learn that faith isn’t about perfection; it’s about relationships.
We created The Drive to capture these everyday moments of connection and conversation between parents and their teens. Adri’s story reminds us that the hardest questions are often the ones that bring us closer to each other and to God. Go to www.firstcong.org/youth to watch the film.
Continue the conversation:
If you could ask God one question, what would you ask?
When bad things happen, where do you look for comfort or hope?
Parenting Together,
Axis Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TEEN FOMO
Imagine yourself as a teenager again. Try to remember some of the experiences, thoughts, and feelings you had. The desire not to be left out is universal: No one wants to be miss out on something interesting or important. This desire, which is especially strong during adolescence, stems from a God-given yearning to participate in meaningful experiences and be in meaningful community. So while it’s a natural human tendency to fear being excluded, it’s unhealthy when we let this fear control our lives.
But rather than getting easier, it’s only gotten harder to resist feeling left out. Smartphones and social media have (perhaps purposefully) exploited this fear, making it even easier to see each and every little thing that happens without us. It’s become such a powerful phenomenon that it’s been given its own term: FOMO, or the “fear of missing out.” FOMO, text slang for “fear of missing out”, is the fear that something interesting or amazing will happen without us, causing us to miss not just the experience, but also the camaraderie that inevitably blossoms out of experiencing it with others. Unfortunately, it’s a broken way of dealing with our God-given desires to live purposeful lives and be in community. God did not intend for us to live in a constant state of fear. Reclaiming our own boundaries and helping our kids reclaim theirs is well within our grasp, but it does require diligence, wisdom, and intentionality.
FOMO has always existed in some form or another. One of the most recognizable consequences of FOMO is the tendency, particularly of younger people, to not commit to anything. They are reluctant to commit to social events and might back out at the last minute, even if they said they were going to come. God’s Word often seems irrelevant to Gen Z, usually because they don’t think it has anything to say about social media or selfies or video games or any of their other modern-day interests/struggles. If your teens are struggling with or being ruled by FOMO, it’s a perfect opportunity to lovingly demonstrate Scripture’s relevance and, in so doing, disciple them into a deeper understanding of God, themselves, others, and their world.
Anytime we want something so much that we’ll do anything for it (even and especially ignoring God’s plans and desires for us), we’re guilty of idolatry. Isn’t that exactly what we’re doing when we allow FOMO to control our schedules and consume our thoughts? We’ve either idolized ourselves (“I have a hard time committing because I am afraid I won’t have the best experience I could”) or we’ve idolized experiences. Either way, it’s all about taking control into our own hands to make our lives the best, regardless of how it impacts others. In the end, what we’re basically communicating to others and to God is that we know best, that we can do better with our time and our lives than God Himself can. Paul tells us that we don’t have to be anxious about anything. That is wonderful news! No fear or anxiety that we have is too small to be beneath God’s notice. Encourage your teens to bring all of their anxious thoughts before the Lord and to entrust their worries to Him.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
But rather than getting easier, it’s only gotten harder to resist feeling left out. Smartphones and social media have (perhaps purposefully) exploited this fear, making it even easier to see each and every little thing that happens without us. It’s become such a powerful phenomenon that it’s been given its own term: FOMO, or the “fear of missing out.” FOMO, text slang for “fear of missing out”, is the fear that something interesting or amazing will happen without us, causing us to miss not just the experience, but also the camaraderie that inevitably blossoms out of experiencing it with others. Unfortunately, it’s a broken way of dealing with our God-given desires to live purposeful lives and be in community. God did not intend for us to live in a constant state of fear. Reclaiming our own boundaries and helping our kids reclaim theirs is well within our grasp, but it does require diligence, wisdom, and intentionality.
FOMO has always existed in some form or another. One of the most recognizable consequences of FOMO is the tendency, particularly of younger people, to not commit to anything. They are reluctant to commit to social events and might back out at the last minute, even if they said they were going to come. God’s Word often seems irrelevant to Gen Z, usually because they don’t think it has anything to say about social media or selfies or video games or any of their other modern-day interests/struggles. If your teens are struggling with or being ruled by FOMO, it’s a perfect opportunity to lovingly demonstrate Scripture’s relevance and, in so doing, disciple them into a deeper understanding of God, themselves, others, and their world.
Anytime we want something so much that we’ll do anything for it (even and especially ignoring God’s plans and desires for us), we’re guilty of idolatry. Isn’t that exactly what we’re doing when we allow FOMO to control our schedules and consume our thoughts? We’ve either idolized ourselves (“I have a hard time committing because I am afraid I won’t have the best experience I could”) or we’ve idolized experiences. Either way, it’s all about taking control into our own hands to make our lives the best, regardless of how it impacts others. In the end, what we’re basically communicating to others and to God is that we know best, that we can do better with our time and our lives than God Himself can. Paul tells us that we don’t have to be anxious about anything. That is wonderful news! No fear or anxiety that we have is too small to be beneath God’s notice. Encourage your teens to bring all of their anxious thoughts before the Lord and to entrust their worries to Him.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO HEARING FROM GOD
What should I do with my life? Who should I date? Should I stay single? Who should I marry? Should I get married? Should I go to college? What college should I go to? What degree should I pursue? What job should I get? Where should I live? How should I live? How do I know I’m making the right decisions?
These are just a few of the questions the average teenager (heck, the average human being) will wrestle with at some point. And while some teens may ask parents or other caring adults, others will turn to prayer and other spiritual practices out of a desire to get “the right answer.”
People may desire spiritual guidance for a variety of reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is for help on what decisions to make. In this Parent Guide, we’ll talk about how to encourage your teens to find dependable spiritual guidance in Jesus. We’ll talk about the role of scripture, the role of the Holy Spirit, and share some principles to help you and your teens stay grounded along the way.
According to an article in Religion News Service, a desire for spiritual guidance has led many Gen Zers to start exploring witchcraft, tarot cards, and divination. As of this writing, #witchtok has around 36 billion views on TikTok, with many videos about casting spells and other pagan practices. This shows a need to hear from God directly through His Word and the Holy Spirit.
As a parent, or someone who cares for the next generation, this invitation is for you, too. God invites you to hear from Him and then to speak to your teen for their strengthening, encouragement, and comfort—whether they’re in the midst of trying to make a decision, or just going about their daily lives.
Offering strength, encouragement, and comfort does not mean making promises on God’s behalf. Making promises that God will make something specific happen can be very damaging to someone’s faith when/if those specific things don’t happen. We can offer strength, encouragement, and comfort based on the general principles of who God is, not on what we specifically hope He might do for us.
Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes the most important part of a decision that we or our teens need to make isn’t what to do, but why and how to do it. Will we be people who will grow and demonstrate faithfulness in the midst of trial and uncertainty, or will we be people who will cheat, deceive, and cover things up in order to end up where we think we’re supposed to be? As the Holy Spirit revealed, good ends can never justify immoral means. Most of the time, Jesus cares much more about who we become along the way than about where we end up.
The invitation now is to put all this into practice. If we want our teens to have a relationship with God, we should first pursue a relationship with him ourselves. Download the guide at: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
These are just a few of the questions the average teenager (heck, the average human being) will wrestle with at some point. And while some teens may ask parents or other caring adults, others will turn to prayer and other spiritual practices out of a desire to get “the right answer.”
People may desire spiritual guidance for a variety of reasons, but one of the biggest reasons is for help on what decisions to make. In this Parent Guide, we’ll talk about how to encourage your teens to find dependable spiritual guidance in Jesus. We’ll talk about the role of scripture, the role of the Holy Spirit, and share some principles to help you and your teens stay grounded along the way.
According to an article in Religion News Service, a desire for spiritual guidance has led many Gen Zers to start exploring witchcraft, tarot cards, and divination. As of this writing, #witchtok has around 36 billion views on TikTok, with many videos about casting spells and other pagan practices. This shows a need to hear from God directly through His Word and the Holy Spirit.
As a parent, or someone who cares for the next generation, this invitation is for you, too. God invites you to hear from Him and then to speak to your teen for their strengthening, encouragement, and comfort—whether they’re in the midst of trying to make a decision, or just going about their daily lives.
Offering strength, encouragement, and comfort does not mean making promises on God’s behalf. Making promises that God will make something specific happen can be very damaging to someone’s faith when/if those specific things don’t happen. We can offer strength, encouragement, and comfort based on the general principles of who God is, not on what we specifically hope He might do for us.
Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes the most important part of a decision that we or our teens need to make isn’t what to do, but why and how to do it. Will we be people who will grow and demonstrate faithfulness in the midst of trial and uncertainty, or will we be people who will cheat, deceive, and cover things up in order to end up where we think we’re supposed to be? As the Holy Spirit revealed, good ends can never justify immoral means. Most of the time, Jesus cares much more about who we become along the way than about where we end up.
The invitation now is to put all this into practice. If we want our teens to have a relationship with God, we should first pursue a relationship with him ourselves. Download the guide at: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO A STRUGGLING TEEN
If you’ve ever traveled on a plane, you’ve heard these instructions about what to do if the cabin loses pressure: “Remember to always put your own mask on first before helping others.” If a parent puts the child’s mask on first out of concern for their child, the parent might save the child’s life. But that same parent might also fall unconscious from lack of oxygen and be unable to take care of the child further, leaving the child at great risk.
In a crisis, our primary goal as parents and caring adults will always be to put the safety and needs of the children in our care first. That said, the well-being of our children is connected to our own. If we don’t first assess our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual condition, we will not care for our children from a place of health.
For this guide, Axis has partnered with Mercy Multiplied, a ministry committed to helping teenagers and adults break free from issues like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-harm, addiction, and unplanned pregnancy. Our goal is to help parents know how to respond to struggling teens from a place of health and love. We want to do everything possible to ensure we show up for our children from a place of stability and health. But sometimes, the issues in our own hearts and minds get in the way.
Assessing our mental, emotional, and spiritual health starts with self-awareness. Psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich defines self-awareness as being internally attuned to what’s happening in our personal world as well as externally aware of our impact on others. As parents and caring adults, we need to be aware of our thoughts, feelings, strengths, and weaknesses and how the actions and behaviors resulting from those internal processes can impact our children. Doing this requires slowing down, paying attention to our emotions and thoughts, and asking God for guidance and wisdom to express them in a way that is loving to others.
When you’re walking through an unforeseen or heartbreaking crisis with your child, it can feel like there’s never going to be an end. It might feel like life has changed so drastically that you can’t even imagine recovering. It might feel like good days will never come again. But the great news of the gospel is that light has already won out completely over darkness. Good vanquished evil completely and totally, long before you or your child were even born.
We can have hope that God, who raises dead things to life, can resurrect our children from whatever crisis they are facing. And more than that, we can have hope not just for resurrection, but for transformation. Just as Jesus walked out of the tomb, transformed and unrecognizable to the people who knew Him best, our children can walk through to the other side of even the most devastating crisis, transformed and made new. This struggle does not have to be the end of their story; in fact, it might be the very thing that marks a new beginning.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
In a crisis, our primary goal as parents and caring adults will always be to put the safety and needs of the children in our care first. That said, the well-being of our children is connected to our own. If we don’t first assess our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual condition, we will not care for our children from a place of health.
For this guide, Axis has partnered with Mercy Multiplied, a ministry committed to helping teenagers and adults break free from issues like anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-harm, addiction, and unplanned pregnancy. Our goal is to help parents know how to respond to struggling teens from a place of health and love. We want to do everything possible to ensure we show up for our children from a place of stability and health. But sometimes, the issues in our own hearts and minds get in the way.
Assessing our mental, emotional, and spiritual health starts with self-awareness. Psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich defines self-awareness as being internally attuned to what’s happening in our personal world as well as externally aware of our impact on others. As parents and caring adults, we need to be aware of our thoughts, feelings, strengths, and weaknesses and how the actions and behaviors resulting from those internal processes can impact our children. Doing this requires slowing down, paying attention to our emotions and thoughts, and asking God for guidance and wisdom to express them in a way that is loving to others.
When you’re walking through an unforeseen or heartbreaking crisis with your child, it can feel like there’s never going to be an end. It might feel like life has changed so drastically that you can’t even imagine recovering. It might feel like good days will never come again. But the great news of the gospel is that light has already won out completely over darkness. Good vanquished evil completely and totally, long before you or your child were even born.
We can have hope that God, who raises dead things to life, can resurrect our children from whatever crisis they are facing. And more than that, we can have hope not just for resurrection, but for transformation. Just as Jesus walked out of the tomb, transformed and unrecognizable to the people who knew Him best, our children can walk through to the other side of even the most devastating crisis, transformed and made new. This struggle does not have to be the end of their story; in fact, it might be the very thing that marks a new beginning.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TEEN PRIVACY
Some conversations in parenting are simple. “Don’t smoke, drink, or chew, or go with those who do,” as the axiom goes. Get enough sleep, stay in school, say no to drugs, stranger danger, please and thank you, two wrongs don’t make a right…
These sayings may belie the difficulties of having real conversations with your teens about drugs, sex, alcohol, et cetera. But at least those topics don’t leave much room for haggling between you and your kids. If a teen asks to start chain-smoking, the answer most parents will give is no. Making that “no” stick can come with challenges, but it’s not the kind of thing that invites compromise or meeting in the middle.
There are other conversations, though, that aren’t as cut and dry. And one of the big ones is the conversation around teen privacy. What does teen “privacy” even mean? Is it a right or a privilege? Is it given and restricted on a case-by-case basis, or is it earned one piece at a time?
The definition of privacy can not only differ from household to household and teen to teen, but might even be different between a parent and their own teen. What a teen sees as privacy might look like secrecy to a parent, and what a parent understands to be accountability might be experienced as hovering or a lack of trust to a teen.
If there was a formula for perfect boundaries and rules about privacy and parenting, we would share it. But because that’s just not possible, it might be better to look at the question of privacy from a different angle. Rather than trying to figure out exactly how to draw what can feel like battle lines around what your teen can and can’t do in private, let’s ask this question: how can we send the message that we want to trust our teens?
Determining that our teens need limits on their privacy is likely the easier part of parenting. A Parent’s Guide to Why Teens Shouldn’t Be Given Total Privacy to Do Whatever They Want would be a short and easy read; it’s an instinct for many of us to want to make our kids’ lives safer, to put more limits and boundaries on them, to give them fewer opportunities to fail. What can be harder to face is that eventually, loosening those limits becomes an important part of what helps teens grow and mature.
It’s been said that character is who you are when no-one is looking. Most of life is not lived out in big, public decisions, but in-between those moments—during afternoons and evenings when we’re by ourselves and have no commitments.
In public, some kids might feel compelled to “perform” their faith because they know it might win them the approval of certain adults. But the underlying motivation there is not necessarily a sincere desire to grow in relationship with God. Jesus has a lot of strong words against this sort of performative, people-pleasing religion.
The end goal of conversations about privacy is to help raise someone who is trustworthy, yes—but more than that, it’s to help our teens become who they were created to be, both when people are looking and when they aren’t. In other words: conversations about privacy, ultimately, are about discipleship.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
These sayings may belie the difficulties of having real conversations with your teens about drugs, sex, alcohol, et cetera. But at least those topics don’t leave much room for haggling between you and your kids. If a teen asks to start chain-smoking, the answer most parents will give is no. Making that “no” stick can come with challenges, but it’s not the kind of thing that invites compromise or meeting in the middle.
There are other conversations, though, that aren’t as cut and dry. And one of the big ones is the conversation around teen privacy. What does teen “privacy” even mean? Is it a right or a privilege? Is it given and restricted on a case-by-case basis, or is it earned one piece at a time?
The definition of privacy can not only differ from household to household and teen to teen, but might even be different between a parent and their own teen. What a teen sees as privacy might look like secrecy to a parent, and what a parent understands to be accountability might be experienced as hovering or a lack of trust to a teen.
If there was a formula for perfect boundaries and rules about privacy and parenting, we would share it. But because that’s just not possible, it might be better to look at the question of privacy from a different angle. Rather than trying to figure out exactly how to draw what can feel like battle lines around what your teen can and can’t do in private, let’s ask this question: how can we send the message that we want to trust our teens?
Determining that our teens need limits on their privacy is likely the easier part of parenting. A Parent’s Guide to Why Teens Shouldn’t Be Given Total Privacy to Do Whatever They Want would be a short and easy read; it’s an instinct for many of us to want to make our kids’ lives safer, to put more limits and boundaries on them, to give them fewer opportunities to fail. What can be harder to face is that eventually, loosening those limits becomes an important part of what helps teens grow and mature.
It’s been said that character is who you are when no-one is looking. Most of life is not lived out in big, public decisions, but in-between those moments—during afternoons and evenings when we’re by ourselves and have no commitments.
In public, some kids might feel compelled to “perform” their faith because they know it might win them the approval of certain adults. But the underlying motivation there is not necessarily a sincere desire to grow in relationship with God. Jesus has a lot of strong words against this sort of performative, people-pleasing religion.
The end goal of conversations about privacy is to help raise someone who is trustworthy, yes—but more than that, it’s to help our teens become who they were created to be, both when people are looking and when they aren’t. In other words: conversations about privacy, ultimately, are about discipleship.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO DISABILITY
On July 26, 1990, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was signed into law. It was a moment many activists championed, as this piece of legislation legally protects people with disabilities from discrimination from employers. To commemorate the ADA and recognize the triumph of so many notable people who have lived with disabilities, the month of July has been designated “Disability Pride Month.”
The way we talk about disability has changed a lot since that summer in 1990. The disability community has become more empowered, with activist’s voices and community advocates finding resonance—and followers—online. “Person-first” language that centers individuals as people who are more than their physical differences has caught on. And representation in the media for people who have disabilities really does seem to be improving.
But in some respects, talking about disability has become more difficult. Activists who live with disabilities don’t speak for everyone in their community, though sometimes they act like they do. For those who aren’t familiar with the way language has changed, it’s easier than ever to offend someone by accident. And not every media representation of a person with a disability has affirmed their inherent dignity and value as an image-bearer of God.
We’ve recently published a Parent’s Guide to Disability to make these questions, and more, easier to navigate. We cover some of the contemporary media portrayals of disability, pointing out what’s good, what’s bad, and what the Bible has to say about each one. We also examine the cultural narratives surrounding people with disabilities and how these narratives continue to evolve over time—for better in some ways, and for worse in others. Whether you live with a disability, have a family member with a disability, or simply want to have better conversations about disabilities, this guide is for you.
Like everything else we create, this guide is free for everyone and produced in partnership with generous donors who make our work possible. After you’ve taken the time to read the guide, consider these conversation starters with your teen:
• Do you think people who have disabilities are fairly
represented in streaming shows and movies?
• How do people around you talk about disability? Is it a
topic that comes up a lot?
• How does the Bible talk about disability?
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
The way we talk about disability has changed a lot since that summer in 1990. The disability community has become more empowered, with activist’s voices and community advocates finding resonance—and followers—online. “Person-first” language that centers individuals as people who are more than their physical differences has caught on. And representation in the media for people who have disabilities really does seem to be improving.
But in some respects, talking about disability has become more difficult. Activists who live with disabilities don’t speak for everyone in their community, though sometimes they act like they do. For those who aren’t familiar with the way language has changed, it’s easier than ever to offend someone by accident. And not every media representation of a person with a disability has affirmed their inherent dignity and value as an image-bearer of God.
We’ve recently published a Parent’s Guide to Disability to make these questions, and more, easier to navigate. We cover some of the contemporary media portrayals of disability, pointing out what’s good, what’s bad, and what the Bible has to say about each one. We also examine the cultural narratives surrounding people with disabilities and how these narratives continue to evolve over time—for better in some ways, and for worse in others. Whether you live with a disability, have a family member with a disability, or simply want to have better conversations about disabilities, this guide is for you.
Like everything else we create, this guide is free for everyone and produced in partnership with generous donors who make our work possible. After you’ve taken the time to read the guide, consider these conversation starters with your teen:
• Do you think people who have disabilities are fairly
represented in streaming shows and movies?
• How do people around you talk about disability? Is it a
topic that comes up a lot?
• How does the Bible talk about disability?
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO SUMMER 2024
You may have heard the quote, "You only have 18 summers with your child—so make them count." It's a saying that became popular on social media several years ago and now comes up with seasonal regularity when summer is around the corner. Eighteen summers to celebrate, relax, and enjoy what it feels like to be in their lives right now. Eighteen summers to learn about their hopes and dreams without the demanding schedule of the academic year constantly interrupting. Eighteen summers to fill up with sunshine, adventures, and maybe even a family vacation or two.
No pressure, right? At Axis, we reject the idea that parenthood lasts eighteen years before it's all over. The relationship you're building with your teenager is one that you'll share for a lifetime. Even after your teens turn eighteen, there are plenty of opportunities for meaningful connection and fruitful, faith-filled conversation. But we can't deny that there's something special about having your teens living under the same roof before they reach the next phase of independence. Something that can feel energizing, inviting, and as beautiful as it is fleeting. When a hamster first begins to run in a wheel, it must feel like a dream come true. What is a hamster’s calling if not to scurry, and the wheel offers an opportunity to scurry endlessly. But at some point, the wheel begins to turn a little faster than the hamster can run. As it tries to catch up, it begins the pendulum swing of alternately outpacing the wheel’s turn and being outpaced. Eventually the wheel spins so fast the hamster just can’t keep up, and it begins to be dragged up the back wall of the wheel, desperately scrabbling for impossible equilibrium. And then, the worst happens: the hamster slips but the wheel keeps spinning, faster than ever. The hamster is held in place by the speed of the wheel, flattened against the wall in a horrible hamster centrifuge nightmare that, for all it knows, will never end.
We might not be running on a literal wheel, but the speed at which culture changes might have us feeling a bit like we are. The fact that many people who remember greeting the guy who delivered coal for their furnaces may have to discern the meaning of the phrase “sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler” feels like something out of a fever dream. But all is not lost.
Think of this guide as a cultural glossary for Christian parents, with each section giving you research about the last year and some thoughts on where the world might be headed. You can read it front to back, start in the middle, or jump into sections as they become relevant. Each section also has a suggestion for another Axis resource that will give you tools to push deeper on the topic. Our hope is that you continue to find useful information that will help you have ongoing conversations with the teens in your life.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
No pressure, right? At Axis, we reject the idea that parenthood lasts eighteen years before it's all over. The relationship you're building with your teenager is one that you'll share for a lifetime. Even after your teens turn eighteen, there are plenty of opportunities for meaningful connection and fruitful, faith-filled conversation. But we can't deny that there's something special about having your teens living under the same roof before they reach the next phase of independence. Something that can feel energizing, inviting, and as beautiful as it is fleeting. When a hamster first begins to run in a wheel, it must feel like a dream come true. What is a hamster’s calling if not to scurry, and the wheel offers an opportunity to scurry endlessly. But at some point, the wheel begins to turn a little faster than the hamster can run. As it tries to catch up, it begins the pendulum swing of alternately outpacing the wheel’s turn and being outpaced. Eventually the wheel spins so fast the hamster just can’t keep up, and it begins to be dragged up the back wall of the wheel, desperately scrabbling for impossible equilibrium. And then, the worst happens: the hamster slips but the wheel keeps spinning, faster than ever. The hamster is held in place by the speed of the wheel, flattened against the wall in a horrible hamster centrifuge nightmare that, for all it knows, will never end.
We might not be running on a literal wheel, but the speed at which culture changes might have us feeling a bit like we are. The fact that many people who remember greeting the guy who delivered coal for their furnaces may have to discern the meaning of the phrase “sticking out your gyatt for the rizzler” feels like something out of a fever dream. But all is not lost.
Think of this guide as a cultural glossary for Christian parents, with each section giving you research about the last year and some thoughts on where the world might be headed. You can read it front to back, start in the middle, or jump into sections as they become relevant. Each section also has a suggestion for another Axis resource that will give you tools to push deeper on the topic. Our hope is that you continue to find useful information that will help you have ongoing conversations with the teens in your life.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TEEN SLANG
Lost? Confused? Unable to understand your teens? Don’t worry; you’re in good company. Keeping up with latest teen slang terms is nearly impossible. New words are constantly being introduced, thanks to the influence of music, the Internet, apps, and celebrities (not to mention regional vernacular!). You may feel overwhelmed and lost when listening to your children/ grandchildren speaking, and it’ll only get worse when reading social media posts and hashtags.
Sometimes it simply feels like teens and adults speak two totally different languages. And sometimes, that’s because teens actually are using a distinctive set of shortened words, playful abbreviations, and twisted-together cultural references to communicate.
In 2024, teen slang develops more quickly than most adults could ever imagine. Phrases are coined, widely adopted, and then often, discarded completely before the term even reaches the ears of the grown-ups.
Lots of slang is harmless, serving as a fun and witty way to establish an identity that is distinct and distant from the older generations’ ways of speaking.
But a few slang words can be cause for concern. “Algospeak” refers particularly to terms that have evolved online to discuss controversial issues while evading content moderation bots, and often takes the form of abbreviations or unexpected prefixes (like “unalive,” which means to kill or to die).
Since slang evolves so quickly, we devote a lot of time to keeping up with it. To help parents keep up, we’ve created a 2024 glossary that catalogs over 120 slang words. You’ll find definitions, red flags to look out for, and more insights into what, exactly, your teen is talking about. Use the guide as a reference for what’s widely popular right now in order to translate what teens are saying. You can download the guide by going to our website: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
Sometimes it simply feels like teens and adults speak two totally different languages. And sometimes, that’s because teens actually are using a distinctive set of shortened words, playful abbreviations, and twisted-together cultural references to communicate.
In 2024, teen slang develops more quickly than most adults could ever imagine. Phrases are coined, widely adopted, and then often, discarded completely before the term even reaches the ears of the grown-ups.
Lots of slang is harmless, serving as a fun and witty way to establish an identity that is distinct and distant from the older generations’ ways of speaking.
But a few slang words can be cause for concern. “Algospeak” refers particularly to terms that have evolved online to discuss controversial issues while evading content moderation bots, and often takes the form of abbreviations or unexpected prefixes (like “unalive,” which means to kill or to die).
Since slang evolves so quickly, we devote a lot of time to keeping up with it. To help parents keep up, we’ve created a 2024 glossary that catalogs over 120 slang words. You’ll find definitions, red flags to look out for, and more insights into what, exactly, your teen is talking about. Use the guide as a reference for what’s widely popular right now in order to translate what teens are saying. You can download the guide by going to our website: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO EATING DISORDERS
Eating disorders have, for a long time, been a side effect of fame. Many celebrities have struggled with eating disorders. But celebrities certainly aren’t the only ones who battle eating disorders. Besides increases in mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, today’s teens also face heightened risks of developing eating disorders. Between access to social media and the constant presence of pop culture, teens are faced with portrayals of unhealthy eating habits and deeper eating distress everywhere they look.
Eating disorders are considered by the American Psychiatric Association to be mental illnesses, and include more well-known disorders like anorexia and bulimia, as well as binge eating disorders and food restriction disorders, among others. Eating disorders primarily affect women between the ages of 12 and 35, but can affect anyone regardless of gender or age.
Eating disorders are dangerous because food is an essential and basic human need. To live and live well we not only need regular nourishment but specific balances of food content to be healthy. Not eating at all is obviously dangerous, but binge eating, restricted eating, and any other behavior that prevents us from receiving regular, well-rounded nourishment from food can cause deep damage to our bodies.
To be extremely clear: those who struggle with eating disorders are not suffering due to any moral failing or lack of faith. Even those who don’t seek help or engage with communities that encourage their disorders are not demonstrating bad behavior, weakness, or rebellion against God. Eating disorders can’t be wished away or done away with in a moment. We say this because it’s all too easy to dismiss those with eating disorders or treat their behavior as an issue of sin that needs to be repented of to make all their problems go away.
Life in Christ offers us real acceptance and community, real freedom from pain, and the real safety and peace that our own attempts at control can’t give us. People struggling with eating disorders need to know that there is someone who wants to give them these gifts, but it’s hard to trust the gifts if you don’t know the giver. In Luke 5:31, Jesus refers to himself as a physician. The word suggests expertise and knowledge, and his audience of sinners suggests a mission of mercy. Jesus wants to come right into the heart of our sickness, whether we’re trying to get better or not, and restore us gently, tenderly, so that we can walk with him into the peace we sought and couldn’t find anywhere else.
What Jesus meant when he said he was the bread of life was that he came to meet and fill us in the first way we need it. He promises to make us co-heirs in his eternal kingdom, he fills us with power and might, he uses language of glory and royalty in much of what he says. But he also says he is our bread, come to end our hunger. He doesn’t need us to be anything other than what we are, even—and especially—if what we are is broken, lonely, needy, and small. He only asks us to come and eat. You can download the Parent’s Guide by going to: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
Eating disorders are considered by the American Psychiatric Association to be mental illnesses, and include more well-known disorders like anorexia and bulimia, as well as binge eating disorders and food restriction disorders, among others. Eating disorders primarily affect women between the ages of 12 and 35, but can affect anyone regardless of gender or age.
Eating disorders are dangerous because food is an essential and basic human need. To live and live well we not only need regular nourishment but specific balances of food content to be healthy. Not eating at all is obviously dangerous, but binge eating, restricted eating, and any other behavior that prevents us from receiving regular, well-rounded nourishment from food can cause deep damage to our bodies.
To be extremely clear: those who struggle with eating disorders are not suffering due to any moral failing or lack of faith. Even those who don’t seek help or engage with communities that encourage their disorders are not demonstrating bad behavior, weakness, or rebellion against God. Eating disorders can’t be wished away or done away with in a moment. We say this because it’s all too easy to dismiss those with eating disorders or treat their behavior as an issue of sin that needs to be repented of to make all their problems go away.
Life in Christ offers us real acceptance and community, real freedom from pain, and the real safety and peace that our own attempts at control can’t give us. People struggling with eating disorders need to know that there is someone who wants to give them these gifts, but it’s hard to trust the gifts if you don’t know the giver. In Luke 5:31, Jesus refers to himself as a physician. The word suggests expertise and knowledge, and his audience of sinners suggests a mission of mercy. Jesus wants to come right into the heart of our sickness, whether we’re trying to get better or not, and restore us gently, tenderly, so that we can walk with him into the peace we sought and couldn’t find anywhere else.
What Jesus meant when he said he was the bread of life was that he came to meet and fill us in the first way we need it. He promises to make us co-heirs in his eternal kingdom, he fills us with power and might, he uses language of glory and royalty in much of what he says. But he also says he is our bread, come to end our hunger. He doesn’t need us to be anything other than what we are, even—and especially—if what we are is broken, lonely, needy, and small. He only asks us to come and eat. You can download the Parent’s Guide by going to: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO MANIFESTING
The hum of a Tibetan singing bowl and ethereal synth music that may or may not be an instrumental from a Billie Eilish song play softly under audio of someone chanting: “I always get what I want. That’s just the way it is.” The audio accompanies a video of a beautiful woman with perfect skin and effortlessly wavy hair, in head-to-toe Lululemon apparel, a beatific smile on her perfectly glossed lips. The caption declares, “since I started manifesting with this audio, every single thing in life has gone my way.” The comment section is filled with thousands of people expressing understandable sentiments: “I want this,” “I claim this energy,” “I need this so bad, I’m manifesting it!”
This video may not exist exactly as we’ve described it, but if you were to search #manifesting on TikTok, you’d find many videos like it. And, once they’ve reeled you in they keep you watching and engaged (read: boosting their content for the TikTok algorithm) with low-risk, high-reward promises that you will get everything you ever dreamed of and more if they’re telling the truth, and if they’re lying your life will be exactly as it is now. What’s the harm?
To answer this question, we must look to something called the New Thought Movement. The New Thought Movement arose as a reaction to the ways that modernism was making less room for the spiritual world, and tried to scientifically articulate the fact that people still felt a deep need for supernatural connection. The idea is that if the spiritual could control the physical, why couldn’t the physical control the spiritual too? Essentially, the idea is that you think your personal goals into existence.” While the average member of Gen Z or Gen Alpha might be put off by the argument that they’re gods, it’s not too distasteful to believe that really, really, really, wanting something could make it real. In fact, it’s pretty seductive.
Throughout Scripture it seems like God asks much of us, but the earning and striving and difficulty was covered by the blood of Christ. Enabled by the Spirit, everything God requires starts to become second nature, as easy as breathing. We have no more use for language like “get” and “take” and “have.” Worship and prayer are exercises in giving up control. Faith means running to the arms of Christ, having done nothing to be welcome there. He’s done it all.
Admitting our powerlessness makes space for His power. Confessing our individual needs gives us the opportunity to show His character in unique ways. Manifestation is a faith that puts us at the center, and when that happens, things fall apart; the centre cannot hold. There is only one power that can hold everything together, consistently, eternally. When Christ is at the center, we don’t have to look anywhere else to receive everything we need.
Parenting together.
AXIS Team
This video may not exist exactly as we’ve described it, but if you were to search #manifesting on TikTok, you’d find many videos like it. And, once they’ve reeled you in they keep you watching and engaged (read: boosting their content for the TikTok algorithm) with low-risk, high-reward promises that you will get everything you ever dreamed of and more if they’re telling the truth, and if they’re lying your life will be exactly as it is now. What’s the harm?
To answer this question, we must look to something called the New Thought Movement. The New Thought Movement arose as a reaction to the ways that modernism was making less room for the spiritual world, and tried to scientifically articulate the fact that people still felt a deep need for supernatural connection. The idea is that if the spiritual could control the physical, why couldn’t the physical control the spiritual too? Essentially, the idea is that you think your personal goals into existence.” While the average member of Gen Z or Gen Alpha might be put off by the argument that they’re gods, it’s not too distasteful to believe that really, really, really, wanting something could make it real. In fact, it’s pretty seductive.
Throughout Scripture it seems like God asks much of us, but the earning and striving and difficulty was covered by the blood of Christ. Enabled by the Spirit, everything God requires starts to become second nature, as easy as breathing. We have no more use for language like “get” and “take” and “have.” Worship and prayer are exercises in giving up control. Faith means running to the arms of Christ, having done nothing to be welcome there. He’s done it all.
Admitting our powerlessness makes space for His power. Confessing our individual needs gives us the opportunity to show His character in unique ways. Manifestation is a faith that puts us at the center, and when that happens, things fall apart; the centre cannot hold. There is only one power that can hold everything together, consistently, eternally. When Christ is at the center, we don’t have to look anywhere else to receive everything we need.
Parenting together.
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TEENS & ALCOHOL
When it comes to teens and alcohol, it can be hard to start the conversation. But avoiding the topic can have some serious long-term consequences. A recent report from the US Center of Behavioral Health Statistics indicates that adults ages 26 and older who began drinking before age 15 are 3.5 times more likely to develop alcohol use disorder (AUD) than those who waited until 21 or later to start drinking. Rates of frequent social drinking are lower for Gen Z than in prior generations—but as of 2018, three-quarters of teens in the US still say they started drinking before the legal age.
Teenagers in 2024 likely drink less because their generation tends to be risk-averse and health-conscious. Still, the reasons teens might start to drink (like curiosity, peer pressure, as a way to cope with stress, or to appear mature) haven’t changed much at all. Health agencies, school programs, and popular media all have something to say about how teens should think about drinking, but parents are still the ones best poised to discuss, confront, and identify the root cause whenever a minor is using a substance that could harm them.
We’re recently updated our Parent Guide to Teens and Alcohol with the latest research and strategies for addressing this topic. Like all of our resources, we’ve built in biblical perspectives that can inform, empower, and motivate these conversations when they happen in your household.
After you’ve read the Parent Guide, consider using these prompts as a starting (or continuing) point for this important discussion with the teens in your life:
The Axis Team
Teenagers in 2024 likely drink less because their generation tends to be risk-averse and health-conscious. Still, the reasons teens might start to drink (like curiosity, peer pressure, as a way to cope with stress, or to appear mature) haven’t changed much at all. Health agencies, school programs, and popular media all have something to say about how teens should think about drinking, but parents are still the ones best poised to discuss, confront, and identify the root cause whenever a minor is using a substance that could harm them.
We’re recently updated our Parent Guide to Teens and Alcohol with the latest research and strategies for addressing this topic. Like all of our resources, we’ve built in biblical perspectives that can inform, empower, and motivate these conversations when they happen in your household.
After you’ve read the Parent Guide, consider using these prompts as a starting (or continuing) point for this important discussion with the teens in your life:
- What are the messages about drinking that you see being presented in our culture? How do those messages make you feel?
- Do you think the legal drinking age in our country makes sense? Why or why not?
- How much do you know about alcohol and alcoholic drinks? What are you curious about?
The Axis Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO MONEY
Money is an unavoidable tool, but it can feel pretty weird to talk about specific dollar amounts. To a lot of us, money feels earthy and unspiritual. Jesus didn’t have a 401k. He wasn’t checking the Nasdaq or the Dow Jones. He probably owned next to nothing. Yet Jesus talked about money, or used it to illustrate His teachings, quite a bit.
Why? Money reveals. We say that we love God. We say that generosity is important. We know that we’re supposed to love our neighbors and care for widows and orphans. But do we believe these things deeply enough to do them? To invest in them with our resources (time, money, talents)? Watching where our money goes is one of the best ways to find out what we value, want, and believe.
Sometimes it feels like Christian discipleship would be way easier if we had clear formulas and explicit rules. Earn $X. Tithe $Y. Give $Z to Christian non-profits. If you do that, you’re good! But life is messy and complex; following Jesus looks different for each of us. Obedience requires communicating with the Holy Spirit: asking for guidance and laying down the things that are close to our hearts so that we have room to say yes to the abundant life Jesus offers.
This Parent Guide is an invitation to prayer, confession, and self-evaluation as much as it is an invitation to talk about money and generosity with your teen. We pray that this content increases our capacity and desire to invite God into every aspect of our lives—even our bank accounts.
Here’s a really tough question, and we ask it humbly: what is your teen learning about the gospel as they observe your lifestyle? When they see you spending and saving, what are they learning about what to value, what to invest in, what to pursue, and what to love? We ask this question gently because we can get caught up in American consumerism just as easily as the next person. Jesus’ strong words about the cost of following Him are hard for us to process, and much harder to embody: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Money is probably the most tangible way to figure out what we value. Money is evidence of the landscape of our hearts, which is why Scripture has a lot to say about this necessary area of practical discipleship.
Talk about your why. Why do we give (or not give) to certain people? Why do we save this much? Why do we eat out X times a month? Show your teen the reasoning behind your financial decisions (almost like showing the work behind a correct math problem answer).
Stewardship skills to teach your teen. These skills are courtesy of the Ron Blue Institute an organization committed to training teens and young adults in Christian financial stewardship.
Whether they know it or not, Gen Z longs for an expansive story to be part of, a vast and compelling narrative that requires everything they have. They also need to know how their average Tuesday afternoon of doing homework or watching YouTube fits into that story. Thankfully, the Gospel encompasses everything. Jesus invites us into a grand adventure. And He is present in the mundane. Nothing gets excluded from kingdom life. We pray that talking with your teen about money gives you unexpected space to notice what God is up to in your life. Download the Parent’s Guide to Money on our website: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS
Why? Money reveals. We say that we love God. We say that generosity is important. We know that we’re supposed to love our neighbors and care for widows and orphans. But do we believe these things deeply enough to do them? To invest in them with our resources (time, money, talents)? Watching where our money goes is one of the best ways to find out what we value, want, and believe.
Sometimes it feels like Christian discipleship would be way easier if we had clear formulas and explicit rules. Earn $X. Tithe $Y. Give $Z to Christian non-profits. If you do that, you’re good! But life is messy and complex; following Jesus looks different for each of us. Obedience requires communicating with the Holy Spirit: asking for guidance and laying down the things that are close to our hearts so that we have room to say yes to the abundant life Jesus offers.
This Parent Guide is an invitation to prayer, confession, and self-evaluation as much as it is an invitation to talk about money and generosity with your teen. We pray that this content increases our capacity and desire to invite God into every aspect of our lives—even our bank accounts.
Here’s a really tough question, and we ask it humbly: what is your teen learning about the gospel as they observe your lifestyle? When they see you spending and saving, what are they learning about what to value, what to invest in, what to pursue, and what to love? We ask this question gently because we can get caught up in American consumerism just as easily as the next person. Jesus’ strong words about the cost of following Him are hard for us to process, and much harder to embody: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” Money is probably the most tangible way to figure out what we value. Money is evidence of the landscape of our hearts, which is why Scripture has a lot to say about this necessary area of practical discipleship.
Talk about your why. Why do we give (or not give) to certain people? Why do we save this much? Why do we eat out X times a month? Show your teen the reasoning behind your financial decisions (almost like showing the work behind a correct math problem answer).
Stewardship skills to teach your teen. These skills are courtesy of the Ron Blue Institute an organization committed to training teens and young adults in Christian financial stewardship.
Whether they know it or not, Gen Z longs for an expansive story to be part of, a vast and compelling narrative that requires everything they have. They also need to know how their average Tuesday afternoon of doing homework or watching YouTube fits into that story. Thankfully, the Gospel encompasses everything. Jesus invites us into a grand adventure. And He is present in the mundane. Nothing gets excluded from kingdom life. We pray that talking with your teen about money gives you unexpected space to notice what God is up to in your life. Download the Parent’s Guide to Money on our website: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO DECONSTRUCTION
The original theory of deconstruction was proposed in the 1960s by a philosopher named Jacques Derrida. Derrida imagined deconstruction could be a tool to analyze classical texts, picking apart their possible meanings and acknowledging how any text could be interpreted multiple ways.
Derrida died in 2004, well before many of today’s teenagers were even born, but his work resonates uniquely with millennials and Gen Z. The theory has made its way out of college classrooms and now exists firmly in the mainstream. Today, #deconstruction has 1.1 billion views on TikTok. The majority of these videos focus on an analysis, reinterpretation, and ultimate rejection of a biblical worldview.
And yet, “deconstruction” doesn’t always mean deconversion. It can also refer to the process of stripping away parts of our faith that aren’t rooted in the Bible in favor of cultivating a more solid, gospel-rooted Christianity.
At Axis, we believe that understanding this kind of terminology can be key to having culturally informed conversations. We put together a new 7-minute video on where deconstruction came from and how people use the word. The Axis Team explores what it is, what it isn't, and how we can take a thoughtful, informed approach in conversation.
After you've watched the video, we hope you'll feel empowered to engage with your teen on the topic of deconstruction. Here are some ideas to spark conversation:
Derrida died in 2004, well before many of today’s teenagers were even born, but his work resonates uniquely with millennials and Gen Z. The theory has made its way out of college classrooms and now exists firmly in the mainstream. Today, #deconstruction has 1.1 billion views on TikTok. The majority of these videos focus on an analysis, reinterpretation, and ultimate rejection of a biblical worldview.
And yet, “deconstruction” doesn’t always mean deconversion. It can also refer to the process of stripping away parts of our faith that aren’t rooted in the Bible in favor of cultivating a more solid, gospel-rooted Christianity.
At Axis, we believe that understanding this kind of terminology can be key to having culturally informed conversations. We put together a new 7-minute video on where deconstruction came from and how people use the word. The Axis Team explores what it is, what it isn't, and how we can take a thoughtful, informed approach in conversation.
After you've watched the video, we hope you'll feel empowered to engage with your teen on the topic of deconstruction. Here are some ideas to spark conversation:
- Have you ever heard anyone say they are on a "deconstruction" journey? What do you think that means?
- How do you decide what makes something trustworthy when it comes to matters of faith?
- What does it look like to question your faith and beliefs in a God-fearing way?
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO DISCIPLING TEENS
At First Church, we have begun a Sermon and Study Series entitled: “Eyes of Faith: Viewing Life Biblically.” And, one of the topics we are going to cover is the idea of the sanctity of human life. This means from conception to death. In 2022, the Supreme Court’s decision in Dobbs v. Jackson effectively overturned Roe v. Wade. This decision upended decades of legal precedent that governed abortion access in the United States. And for the 44 percent of Americans who identify as “pro-life,” this decision was seen as a hard-won victory and the direct result of years of activism on behalf of the unborn. But many younger adults perceive the Dobbs decision to be hypocritical and dangerous. And in fact, research published by the Center for a Biblical Worldview suggests that 1 in 6 regular churchgoers in the United States have paid for, encouraged, or had an abortion themselves. Competing cultural narratives make talking about abortion with teenagers in 2023 as intimidating as it has ever been. Everything can feel so complicated and intertwined, which can make it hard to know how to even begin to have a conversation about it. But without tools to help aid open conversations about abortion, the cycle of deep hurt, confusion, and grief persists. Axis wants to make the abortion conversation more fruitful and less fraught, which is why we're releasing a brand new Parent's Guide to Talking About Abortion. This guide will provide grounded research and a biblical foundation for addressing this topic with the teens you care about. After you've read the guide and had time to reflect, consider these questions for starting a conversation about abortion with your teen:
Parenting together,
The Axis Team
- Do you know a lot of people who are outspoken about abortion?
- What are some ways we can be supportive of women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy?
- What does it mean to you that God cares about protecting life?
Parenting together,
The Axis Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO FRIENDSHIPS
Let's talk about our teens and their friends! As our kids grow older, their friend groups continue to broaden, going far beyond the organized play dates we masterfully conducted when they were younger. And for good or for evil, our teens' friendships have a HUGE influence on their lives. Teaching our kids to navigate their friendships is part of our role as parents. From best friends to frenemies to legit enemies, social connections are a training ground for our teens as they prepare for the deeper relationships that come as they mature into young adulthood. As a parent, you have the amazing opportunity to talk to your kids about their friend choices and classifications.
Questions to ask your teens:
What makes a good friend?
What makes a bad friend?
Why do they like the friends they have?
How do they think they could deepen their friendships?
But how do we guide them through navigating those "bad" friendships? As tempting as it might be to step in and keep unhealthy friendships or groups out of our kids lives, it’s important to remember that they can learn as much from bad friendships as they can from good ones. In their unhealthy relationships, encourage your teens to examine what exactly makes the friendship toxic and ask them why they may want to leave the relationship when they see it for what it is
Questions to ask your teens:
What makes a good friend?
What makes a bad friend?
Why do they like the friends they have?
How do they think they could deepen their friendships?
But how do we guide them through navigating those "bad" friendships? As tempting as it might be to step in and keep unhealthy friendships or groups out of our kids lives, it’s important to remember that they can learn as much from bad friendships as they can from good ones. In their unhealthy relationships, encourage your teens to examine what exactly makes the friendship toxic and ask them why they may want to leave the relationship when they see it for what it is
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO DISCIPLING TEENS
Parenting is difficult. There are so many things that we want our children to learn. When they were babies, our goal was to keep them fed and clean. As toddlers, we wanted to keep them from getting hurt, from falling and hitting their heads, or just avoiding trips to the emergency room. As children, we wanted them to learn new things and excel in school, sports, music, and the arts. We needed to discipline them along the way, helping them make the right choices, try their best in everything they did, and reap the natural consequences of their choices if they didn’t make a wise choice. We realized how important it was to guard their hearts and to always point them toward Jesus. As they grew older, at some point, disciplining turned into discipling. In Matthew 28, we are called to be disciples of Jesus. A disciple is a learner, and our children need to learn more about God every day. Deuteronomy 6:5-7 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” We made this the greatest priority in our home. We made it a point to eat dinner together as a family, read a devotional, pray together, and discuss our days together (the highs and lows). Even when schedules got busy and we couldn’t always eat together, we still found time to have these discussions at other times of the day. We also opened our home to our children’s friends, and when they came over, we never changed our routine. We would include their friends as we prayed together and discussed various tough topics such as religion, social media, addiction, and friendship. Everybody who came into our home knew that our house was a safe place to be and that God was the priority in our home. Parents are the #1 influencer in children’s lives, but the opportunity for influence drastically reduces once they leave home. Our children have learned the importance of surrounding themselves with like-minded people and focusing their time and energy on the good things of God. In the past, when they have failed, it’s been due to poor choices by outside influences, such as shows they are watching, games they are playing, or the wrong people that are speaking into their lives. We have often told them they are a representation of the company they keep and to make wise choices with their time. Our utmost desire is for them to disciple others for Christ through their example and how they live.
A place to start with your teen:
If you asked your children what is the greatest priority in your home, how would they answer? Would it be sports, entertainment, or recreation, or would Jesus be the priority and the axis of your family?
Parenting Together
AXIS Team
A place to start with your teen:
If you asked your children what is the greatest priority in your home, how would they answer? Would it be sports, entertainment, or recreation, or would Jesus be the priority and the axis of your family?
Parenting Together
AXIS Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO SMARTPHONES
Smartphones. The gateway to all things -- good, evil, and everything in between. And no matter how old your kid is, you are somewhere on the spectrum between thinking about their first phone and coaching them through their likely obsession.
And before you say, "It's too late! This is not for me. My kid is _ years old and too engrained with their bad habits." Let me say this -- it's never too late to become a better steward of technology. And if you are like me (which, if you were honest, you probably are), you too might need a break to retrain your habits every once in awhile.
When we first walked down the smartphone road with our oldest, we were totally blind. I mean, let's be real, I was born in the late 70s and literally did not have a cell phone until my post-college years. How in the world did I survive??? (Lol!) We thought we had it all together with the digital responsibility contract, protective firewalls, notifications, restrictions, etc. And guess what? Our son still found the bad stuff, got intertwined in the wrong text groups, and became glued to his device like a bug to a light.
Lessons I learned:
1. When we made the phone the issue, we drove a wedge between us and our teen. Truth - the phone is not the problem.
2. Teaching healthy habits with their tech NEVER ends. There will always be another conversation to have.
3. Our teens need us to model healthy phone habits. And when we don't, admit it and be willing to let them see our own weaknesses. It's awfully hard to reprimand our teens for using phones at the dinner table when we are checking our email under the tablecloth. Ouch.
4. It's much easier to parent with extremes -- NO phones vs. NO rules. The healthy, God-honoring, life-affirming, relationship-building place is somewhere in the middle. And each family and teen have to determine where that balance is. What works for one kid might not work for the next. You know your kid's heart best.
So where do we go from here? I encourage you to keep talking with your teen about his phone use. When you see him practicing healthy habits, point them out! And when you see some room for improvement, push into your observations with him. This is the long game, folks. And our goal needs to be a young adult with healthy phone habits and the ability to self-moderate. And that, my friend, is going to take constant conversations between us and our teens.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Group Team
And before you say, "It's too late! This is not for me. My kid is _ years old and too engrained with their bad habits." Let me say this -- it's never too late to become a better steward of technology. And if you are like me (which, if you were honest, you probably are), you too might need a break to retrain your habits every once in awhile.
When we first walked down the smartphone road with our oldest, we were totally blind. I mean, let's be real, I was born in the late 70s and literally did not have a cell phone until my post-college years. How in the world did I survive??? (Lol!) We thought we had it all together with the digital responsibility contract, protective firewalls, notifications, restrictions, etc. And guess what? Our son still found the bad stuff, got intertwined in the wrong text groups, and became glued to his device like a bug to a light.
Lessons I learned:
1. When we made the phone the issue, we drove a wedge between us and our teen. Truth - the phone is not the problem.
2. Teaching healthy habits with their tech NEVER ends. There will always be another conversation to have.
3. Our teens need us to model healthy phone habits. And when we don't, admit it and be willing to let them see our own weaknesses. It's awfully hard to reprimand our teens for using phones at the dinner table when we are checking our email under the tablecloth. Ouch.
4. It's much easier to parent with extremes -- NO phones vs. NO rules. The healthy, God-honoring, life-affirming, relationship-building place is somewhere in the middle. And each family and teen have to determine where that balance is. What works for one kid might not work for the next. You know your kid's heart best.
So where do we go from here? I encourage you to keep talking with your teen about his phone use. When you see him practicing healthy habits, point them out! And when you see some room for improvement, push into your observations with him. This is the long game, folks. And our goal needs to be a young adult with healthy phone habits and the ability to self-moderate. And that, my friend, is going to take constant conversations between us and our teens.
Parenting Together,
AXIS Group Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO THE BIBLE
It’s probably not very often that we hear the Bible talked about like a virus imprinted in our cell structures, but what if much of our conversation about the Bible is missing the point? What would it be like to imagine that the Bible has the power to change how we live from the inside out? How would it change the way we read or talk about the Bible? How would it help our teens to view the Bible as relevant to their everyday lives, rather than an outdated list of arbitrary rules to follow? What if the Bible helped us start more conversations and ask more questions, rather than ending conversations and winning arguments? We’ll use the words “hear” and “host” to structure a conversation about how we can read the Bible well and teach our teens to do so, too. It sounds strange, but we want to get it inside of us, as if we are being infected by a benign virus that spreads and changes us!
In order to better comprehend the Bible, we need to understand the back story, so that’s where we need to start with our kids. We know (from the Bible!) that, through His love, God created everything that exists and called it good. We know that God cares deeply for all of creation and is pained by the brokenness that has come into it. Because the creator God delights in creation and cares for its flourishing, He is always working to bring about the restoration of all things. In order to do so, God chose an obscure family in the deserts of the ancient Near East to be His people and a blessing for the entire world. Then God became human in the person of Jesus to claim the final and decisive victory over sin and death. He made it possible for creation to be reconciled to Himself, restored to wholeness.
What’s more, God remains active and present on earth as the Spirit who empowers and instructs His people. As Christians, we’re called to live in ways that bring the kingdom of God to earth. God didn’t leave us alone to do this work. Not only did He give humankind His very Spirit to help in this work, but He also gave the Scriptures to guide, instruct, and inspire humankind. As faithful followers of Jesus, we are to follow His example, the guidance of Scripture, and the Spirit so that we can participate in God’s plan of restoration for all things.
Understanding the Bible is not easy. In fact, it’s something we’ll never be able to do 100% because God is beyond our comprehension. And that’s ok! Instead, we need to help our teens realize this truth while imparting to them a desire to learn as much as is humanly possible while on this earth. Knowing and loving Him is the best work we can ever do, and though counterintuitive, undertaking this task will actually fulfill us and our families in ways we can’t possibly imagine.
Parenting Together,
Axis Group Team
In order to better comprehend the Bible, we need to understand the back story, so that’s where we need to start with our kids. We know (from the Bible!) that, through His love, God created everything that exists and called it good. We know that God cares deeply for all of creation and is pained by the brokenness that has come into it. Because the creator God delights in creation and cares for its flourishing, He is always working to bring about the restoration of all things. In order to do so, God chose an obscure family in the deserts of the ancient Near East to be His people and a blessing for the entire world. Then God became human in the person of Jesus to claim the final and decisive victory over sin and death. He made it possible for creation to be reconciled to Himself, restored to wholeness.
What’s more, God remains active and present on earth as the Spirit who empowers and instructs His people. As Christians, we’re called to live in ways that bring the kingdom of God to earth. God didn’t leave us alone to do this work. Not only did He give humankind His very Spirit to help in this work, but He also gave the Scriptures to guide, instruct, and inspire humankind. As faithful followers of Jesus, we are to follow His example, the guidance of Scripture, and the Spirit so that we can participate in God’s plan of restoration for all things.
Understanding the Bible is not easy. In fact, it’s something we’ll never be able to do 100% because God is beyond our comprehension. And that’s ok! Instead, we need to help our teens realize this truth while imparting to them a desire to learn as much as is humanly possible while on this earth. Knowing and loving Him is the best work we can ever do, and though counterintuitive, undertaking this task will actually fulfill us and our families in ways we can’t possibly imagine.
Parenting Together,
Axis Group Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO GENDER IDENTITY
The conversation around gender identity and gender dysphoria is incredibly complex. When we look at the life of Jesus, we know that He believed what the Bible affirms to be true—including the idea that gender is something that God and not man defines. We also know that Jesus was called a glutton and a drunkard because He was often seen eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners. Being called these things didn’t stop Him from spending time with those people; in such cases, His emphasis was on cultivating and maintaining relationships with hurting people, even if it meant that some were left unclear about what His official stance was.
There are of course multiple ways people have handled this situation, and please know our previous email was not a tacit affirmation of socially transitioning. Another reader who was walking through gender dysphoria with their teen decided to withdraw them from a school where kids were encouraged to declare preferred pronouns and to socially transition. Every family is different, and as Christians we always want to be concerned to do what we believe is in line with the example of Jesus and what we believe the Holy Spirit is leading us to do. However that looks, of course, these conversations usually seem easier when it’s someone else’s kid we’re talking about as opposed to our own.
Gender identity is a term used to discuss the way modern people think of and express their gender. Note that this term separates the concept of gender from the context of sex, the former being a personal experience and the latter being purely connected to biology. The term itself functions as an argument that the body a person is born into does not have any say over who they are. We disagree with this idea in its entirety: sex and gender are one and the same because God designed us as male and female with no schism between our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls. However, because society insists upon this schism, we need to know this term and understand its meaning and impact.
Theology is borne out in relationship with one another, and everyone’s pace is different. As Jesus Himself said to His disciples in John 16:12, “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.” Our hope is that every member of the rising generation would eventually come to love and embrace the bodies God has given them. But we know that between things like gender dysphoria, eating disorders, and other self-image issues that’s not yet the case. We need wisdom from God to help us wisely stand in the gap between His truth and the non-ideal circumstances we live and raise teens in. You can access the Parent’s Guide to Gender Identity at: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
The Axis Team
There are of course multiple ways people have handled this situation, and please know our previous email was not a tacit affirmation of socially transitioning. Another reader who was walking through gender dysphoria with their teen decided to withdraw them from a school where kids were encouraged to declare preferred pronouns and to socially transition. Every family is different, and as Christians we always want to be concerned to do what we believe is in line with the example of Jesus and what we believe the Holy Spirit is leading us to do. However that looks, of course, these conversations usually seem easier when it’s someone else’s kid we’re talking about as opposed to our own.
Gender identity is a term used to discuss the way modern people think of and express their gender. Note that this term separates the concept of gender from the context of sex, the former being a personal experience and the latter being purely connected to biology. The term itself functions as an argument that the body a person is born into does not have any say over who they are. We disagree with this idea in its entirety: sex and gender are one and the same because God designed us as male and female with no schism between our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls. However, because society insists upon this schism, we need to know this term and understand its meaning and impact.
Theology is borne out in relationship with one another, and everyone’s pace is different. As Jesus Himself said to His disciples in John 16:12, “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear.” Our hope is that every member of the rising generation would eventually come to love and embrace the bodies God has given them. But we know that between things like gender dysphoria, eating disorders, and other self-image issues that’s not yet the case. We need wisdom from God to help us wisely stand in the gap between His truth and the non-ideal circumstances we live and raise teens in. You can access the Parent’s Guide to Gender Identity at: www.firstcong.org/youth
Parenting Together,
The Axis Team
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO ANXIETY
It's time to get vulnerable...I am among friends, right? As a human who has battled with anxiety my entire life (and is now watching one of my kids face similar monsters), the past few crazy years our world has found itself in have been a breeding ground for my anxious thoughts to spin out of control. And though the cloud of the pandemic has (mostly) cleared, there is still so much relevance in this statement: "Right now, we’re living in a constant state of uncertainty, and it can feel like running a race with no finish line or making a puzzle without a reference picture."
One practical way that I have personally found peace within my storm is by actively practicing gratitude. Sometimes my gratitude game is strong, and sometimes I need a kick in the seat. But one thing is certain - when I choose to be grateful, my anxiety slowly deescalates and the clouds clear a bit.
Gratitude brings happiness: Simple practices like maintaining a gratitude or sending small tokens and thank you notes can make us feel a lot better.
Gratitude releases negative emotions: Practicing gratitude can change our brain and improve our mental health.
Gratitude competes with our anxious thoughts: When feeling those anxious thoughts creep in, a spirit of gratitude can replace the anxiety.
A place to start with your teens:
Appreciate Yourself: Stand in front of your mirror and speak five good things to yourself. Psalm 139 is full of truth about what God thinks of us!
Create a gratitude journal: There is power in writing things down. A gratitude journal is your personal space to pen down all the little and big things in life that you are thankful for.
Do not hesitate to be happy: Accepting happiness makes us stronger and more grateful for what we have.
If your Teen experiences anxiety, help them understand that they are loved and cherished by God!
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
One practical way that I have personally found peace within my storm is by actively practicing gratitude. Sometimes my gratitude game is strong, and sometimes I need a kick in the seat. But one thing is certain - when I choose to be grateful, my anxiety slowly deescalates and the clouds clear a bit.
Gratitude brings happiness: Simple practices like maintaining a gratitude or sending small tokens and thank you notes can make us feel a lot better.
Gratitude releases negative emotions: Practicing gratitude can change our brain and improve our mental health.
Gratitude competes with our anxious thoughts: When feeling those anxious thoughts creep in, a spirit of gratitude can replace the anxiety.
A place to start with your teens:
Appreciate Yourself: Stand in front of your mirror and speak five good things to yourself. Psalm 139 is full of truth about what God thinks of us!
Create a gratitude journal: There is power in writing things down. A gratitude journal is your personal space to pen down all the little and big things in life that you are thankful for.
Do not hesitate to be happy: Accepting happiness makes us stronger and more grateful for what we have.
If your Teen experiences anxiety, help them understand that they are loved and cherished by God!
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO A DOUBTING TEEN
T’is the season for all things family. There are the parties, the dinners, and the Christmas Eve service. Maybe even the devotionals, the focus on Christ, and yet, many teens during this time doubt. They doubt the messages they hear. They doubt that the love is genuine. They doubt that God even came. Doubting teens asking really hard questions. This is not an unfamiliar scenario to many of us parents. And knowing this truth, we have published resources to help you create an open, loving environment—where faith can become stronger through a conversation about questions and doubts. Their doubts offer us the opportunity to model God’s unending compassion by helping them understand that there is no shame in having doubts or questions about life, faith, and the Gospel. We hope Axis resources are helpful as you walk alongside your teens, creating space for them to be honest about their process. May God give you wisdom and graciousness as you do so.
Truths to remember:
Helping teens wrestle with doubt is intimidating. The process often takes time because there are rarely quick fixes or easy answers. Remember not to rush into things.
1. As tough conversations arise with your teen, remind him that having doubt is normal and, if handled well, can lead to a stronger faith.
2. Don't shy away from hard questions. Just as you and I have doubted during moments on our faith journey, so might your teen.
3. Be honest with them about your own doubts and search out answers together. By leading with vulnerability, teens will see that there is space and freedom to question and wrestle with the truth.
4. Rest in the fact that your teen’s doubts may actually be the first step into a more vibrant, authentic faith that they can call their own.
5. Don't panic. Even if your teen is examining his faith, walking a different journey, or walking away from faith altogether, God has promised His faithfulness - even in our doubting. Give your teen the same grace-filled adoration.
Try these conversation starters with your teen:
Q. What do you think about tolerance? How do you respond to your friends who don't share your faith?
Q. Do you believe there is one, true God? How different would your life be without God?
Q. How would the way you talk about God be different if you knew why you believed in Him?
Q. What do you think about Jesus and His coming?
Truths to remember:
Helping teens wrestle with doubt is intimidating. The process often takes time because there are rarely quick fixes or easy answers. Remember not to rush into things.
1. As tough conversations arise with your teen, remind him that having doubt is normal and, if handled well, can lead to a stronger faith.
2. Don't shy away from hard questions. Just as you and I have doubted during moments on our faith journey, so might your teen.
3. Be honest with them about your own doubts and search out answers together. By leading with vulnerability, teens will see that there is space and freedom to question and wrestle with the truth.
4. Rest in the fact that your teen’s doubts may actually be the first step into a more vibrant, authentic faith that they can call their own.
5. Don't panic. Even if your teen is examining his faith, walking a different journey, or walking away from faith altogether, God has promised His faithfulness - even in our doubting. Give your teen the same grace-filled adoration.
Try these conversation starters with your teen:
Q. What do you think about tolerance? How do you respond to your friends who don't share your faith?
Q. Do you believe there is one, true God? How different would your life be without God?
Q. How would the way you talk about God be different if you knew why you believed in Him?
Q. What do you think about Jesus and His coming?
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TEEN EMOTIONS (MENTAL HEALTH)
Have you ever reacted to your teenagers' emotional waves in ways you weren't proud of? We've all been there.
Being a parent is hard. We are more invested in our kids than anyone else. We deeply care how they mature and grow, and sometimes these desperate feelings intertwine our emotions with our teen’s emotions. Has your teenager ever told you that "my _____ understands (and cares for!) me better than you!" Ugh. These words sting our parental hearts.
So why do our teenagers respond in this way?
Having other caring adults in our teens' lives is so important. These mentors provide a space of safety and compassion for our children and a platform beyond the parental voice that our teens can become numb to at times. Yet - these folks don’t have to care as much as we do. At times, they will have a more neutral perspective and a more persuasive ability than we, as parents. There’s less at stake for them.
We don’t get the luxury of the emotional (and physical) distance that their teachers, coaches, mentors, and youth pastors have. They are simply outside observers and cheerleaders in our children's lives. Their involvement in our teen’s life probably has an end date - and has its limits.
What I'm saying is: we have permission to cut ourselves some slack. There will probably be moments when we need to apologize to our teens because we didn’t give them the attention or care that they needed. Or perhaps when we didn’t respond calmly or kindly to a heated situation. Every person in human history has been raised by imperfect parents. We’re all in good company.
Thankfully, we have a Mediator in Heaven who empathizes with us. Jesus’ way often involves feeling more, not less.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
Being a parent is hard. We are more invested in our kids than anyone else. We deeply care how they mature and grow, and sometimes these desperate feelings intertwine our emotions with our teen’s emotions. Has your teenager ever told you that "my _____ understands (and cares for!) me better than you!" Ugh. These words sting our parental hearts.
So why do our teenagers respond in this way?
Having other caring adults in our teens' lives is so important. These mentors provide a space of safety and compassion for our children and a platform beyond the parental voice that our teens can become numb to at times. Yet - these folks don’t have to care as much as we do. At times, they will have a more neutral perspective and a more persuasive ability than we, as parents. There’s less at stake for them.
We don’t get the luxury of the emotional (and physical) distance that their teachers, coaches, mentors, and youth pastors have. They are simply outside observers and cheerleaders in our children's lives. Their involvement in our teen’s life probably has an end date - and has its limits.
What I'm saying is: we have permission to cut ourselves some slack. There will probably be moments when we need to apologize to our teens because we didn’t give them the attention or care that they needed. Or perhaps when we didn’t respond calmly or kindly to a heated situation. Every person in human history has been raised by imperfect parents. We’re all in good company.
Thankfully, we have a Mediator in Heaven who empathizes with us. Jesus’ way often involves feeling more, not less.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO ADDICTION
Whether it's your kid or someone in your teen's life, dealing with addictive behaviors and habits is really tough. We deeply love our kids, and seeing them hurt themselves and those around them is devastating. This week we are going to talk about some practical ways to work alongside the teen in your life as they battle to overcome addictive behaviors. And as always, forward this on to someone you know who might need help.
My child struggles with an addiction. Now what?
Fact: almost anything can become addictive. For some kids, it is video games or their phones. For some, it’s a chemical substance. For some, it is cutting or self-injury. And the list goes on. That’s a pretty scary realization for most parents.
Key points for caring adults to remember:
There are two major steps that you and your child must take to get things out into the light (almost all addictive behavior happens in the shadows). The first is that before you talk to your child about their struggle, you have to stay calm. It is easy for care and deep concern to manifest as fear of frustration or anger. If you approach your child with these feelings on display, no good will come of it. The second is to try and get your child to acknowledge addiction. If a kid is in denial, they will not be open to receiving help. It is only when they can admit their struggle that they can begin the process of overcoming the thing they are addicted to.
A few questions will help get the conversation started:
Q: Here is a behavior I observe. What am I missing?
This is an open-ended question that will give your child an on-ramp to begin talking about that behavior in a non-defensive posture. Maybe they are embarrassed or will be angry with you for even bringing it up, but asking about what you don’t know gives them a chance to come clean.
Q: How can I help?
As soon as an addict admits that they need help, you have to be ready and willing to help them. So have a plan ready to be put in place if they need it. That may mean looking into AA meetings or proposing accountability software on their devices.
One way or another, if they need help, be prepared to be that help! Addiction is scary, but it is also common, which means millions of other parents are going through the same thing.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie & Toben at AXIS
My child struggles with an addiction. Now what?
Fact: almost anything can become addictive. For some kids, it is video games or their phones. For some, it’s a chemical substance. For some, it is cutting or self-injury. And the list goes on. That’s a pretty scary realization for most parents.
Key points for caring adults to remember:
There are two major steps that you and your child must take to get things out into the light (almost all addictive behavior happens in the shadows). The first is that before you talk to your child about their struggle, you have to stay calm. It is easy for care and deep concern to manifest as fear of frustration or anger. If you approach your child with these feelings on display, no good will come of it. The second is to try and get your child to acknowledge addiction. If a kid is in denial, they will not be open to receiving help. It is only when they can admit their struggle that they can begin the process of overcoming the thing they are addicted to.
A few questions will help get the conversation started:
Q: Here is a behavior I observe. What am I missing?
This is an open-ended question that will give your child an on-ramp to begin talking about that behavior in a non-defensive posture. Maybe they are embarrassed or will be angry with you for even bringing it up, but asking about what you don’t know gives them a chance to come clean.
Q: How can I help?
As soon as an addict admits that they need help, you have to be ready and willing to help them. So have a plan ready to be put in place if they need it. That may mean looking into AA meetings or proposing accountability software on their devices.
One way or another, if they need help, be prepared to be that help! Addiction is scary, but it is also common, which means millions of other parents are going through the same thing.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie & Toben at AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO PURPOSE
As parents of older teens, gone are the days of the "simple" questions about their little worlds:
Why is the sky blue?
Why do dogs bark?
Why aren't dinosaurs still roaming the earth?
These seemingly impossible questions to answer (as we were driving through the never-ending traffic of school drop-off lines) have been replaced with:
Where should I go to college?
What should I major in?
Should I even go to college?
Does God even listen to questions from a kid like me?
Perhaps you are in the never-ending cycle of pushing into these big, transitional life topics with your teen. Or perhaps you find yourself wishing your child would just be willing to open up and ask these big questions. As we move from hands-on parenting to sideline coaching, one of the topics of our ongoing conversations is all about life's purpose. And while we certainly don't have our own lives figured out all the time, we all long for our emerging young adults to be filled with clarity, hope, and a purpose for their lives. So how do we guide our teens towards understanding the value of living a purposeful life in a world that screams otherwise?
Try these conversation starters with your teen:
Q. What do you do when life doesn't go your way? Do you give up and go in a different direction? Does a bump in the road mean you are traveling in the wrong direction?
A. Let's start by understanding that suffering is part of life, and frankly, life is just not fair. Even when we are closely communing with God, following His leading, and walking in the way Jesus would walk, bad things - disappointing things - are still going to be part of our lives. There are A LOT of examples of courageous, bold, and wise folks in the Bible who experienced their fair share of sadness and suffering.
Q. Does your "talent" act as an indicator of what God's purpose for your life might be? Like some sort of mysterious code?
A. Harsh truth: just because we are uniquely good at something or have a talent that we believe the world needs to see, doesn't necessarily mean it's our sign from God that He wishes for us to be it. If this were true, I should have been a champion hula hooper!
Encourage your teen to thank God for his uniqueness and enjoy the talents he has been given. But understand that sometimes talents are to be enjoyed and shared but not always used as a north star for determining one's purpose.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
Why is the sky blue?
Why do dogs bark?
Why aren't dinosaurs still roaming the earth?
These seemingly impossible questions to answer (as we were driving through the never-ending traffic of school drop-off lines) have been replaced with:
Where should I go to college?
What should I major in?
Should I even go to college?
Does God even listen to questions from a kid like me?
Perhaps you are in the never-ending cycle of pushing into these big, transitional life topics with your teen. Or perhaps you find yourself wishing your child would just be willing to open up and ask these big questions. As we move from hands-on parenting to sideline coaching, one of the topics of our ongoing conversations is all about life's purpose. And while we certainly don't have our own lives figured out all the time, we all long for our emerging young adults to be filled with clarity, hope, and a purpose for their lives. So how do we guide our teens towards understanding the value of living a purposeful life in a world that screams otherwise?
Try these conversation starters with your teen:
Q. What do you do when life doesn't go your way? Do you give up and go in a different direction? Does a bump in the road mean you are traveling in the wrong direction?
A. Let's start by understanding that suffering is part of life, and frankly, life is just not fair. Even when we are closely communing with God, following His leading, and walking in the way Jesus would walk, bad things - disappointing things - are still going to be part of our lives. There are A LOT of examples of courageous, bold, and wise folks in the Bible who experienced their fair share of sadness and suffering.
Q. Does your "talent" act as an indicator of what God's purpose for your life might be? Like some sort of mysterious code?
A. Harsh truth: just because we are uniquely good at something or have a talent that we believe the world needs to see, doesn't necessarily mean it's our sign from God that He wishes for us to be it. If this were true, I should have been a champion hula hooper!
Encourage your teen to thank God for his uniqueness and enjoy the talents he has been given. But understand that sometimes talents are to be enjoyed and shared but not always used as a north star for determining one's purpose.
Parenting Together,
Stephanie at AXIS
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO TIKTOK
Parenting tweens and teens is not for the faint of heart. Let's face it - our kids are growing up in a world that is vastly different than the one you and I grew up in. My boys shake their heads in disbelief when I remind them that I didn't have a cell phone until I was 20! Easy accessibility plus content relentlessly flooding our kids' lives makes for a parenting journey that can feel like a battlefield at times. And if you are like me, you sometimes feel like you are marching towards the line without a map of any kind.
Meet Marisa. Marisa is Axis' social media guru and mom of teenagers herself! We asked her to answer the burning question...
What is the one platform that every parent needs to have the best understanding of?
TikTok.
I truly believe TikTok has a form of digital nicotine in its algorithm. It can be addicting. It can also be a really cool, creative outlet. When I watch some videos on TikTok, I find myself thinking, “How did they think of that?” and ”How did they do that?” Some teens and young adults really get creative and get to showcase their talents and humor on the platform. On the other hand, TikTok can be scary as a parent.
The TikTok algorithm is one of the most sophisticated algorithms of our time and provides personalized content recommendations for each user. It decides which videos a user might like based on their individual interests and displays them on the user’s "For You" page. This sounds like every other social media platform, but TikTok laser focuses on how long you hover, rewatch, or sit still on a video, and from there it hyper analyzes and rabbit holes you.
For example - let’s say your teen is having a rough day and watches a TikTok about someone who is struggling that day and contains sad content. Then they like the video. TikTok’s algorithm goes “hmmm...she liked this, let me show her more like this.” Soon your teen is seeing 80% of their "For You" page filled with videos talking about depression, mental health, and potentially discouraging Debbie Downer videos.
It’s imperative that parents stay in-the-know about the latest TikTok trends and know social media algorithms at a high level so that we, as trusted adults, can have informed conversations with our teens. I believe teens, being teens, unintentionally take advantage of the fact their little old parents don’t understand how social media works and get exposed to and away with more. And that’s where the trouble starts. TikTok and all social media can be a great outlet for teens to connect with friends and watch some fun content creators, but like with all things, is only healthy with careful balance.
Meet Marisa. Marisa is Axis' social media guru and mom of teenagers herself! We asked her to answer the burning question...
What is the one platform that every parent needs to have the best understanding of?
TikTok.
I truly believe TikTok has a form of digital nicotine in its algorithm. It can be addicting. It can also be a really cool, creative outlet. When I watch some videos on TikTok, I find myself thinking, “How did they think of that?” and ”How did they do that?” Some teens and young adults really get creative and get to showcase their talents and humor on the platform. On the other hand, TikTok can be scary as a parent.
The TikTok algorithm is one of the most sophisticated algorithms of our time and provides personalized content recommendations for each user. It decides which videos a user might like based on their individual interests and displays them on the user’s "For You" page. This sounds like every other social media platform, but TikTok laser focuses on how long you hover, rewatch, or sit still on a video, and from there it hyper analyzes and rabbit holes you.
For example - let’s say your teen is having a rough day and watches a TikTok about someone who is struggling that day and contains sad content. Then they like the video. TikTok’s algorithm goes “hmmm...she liked this, let me show her more like this.” Soon your teen is seeing 80% of their "For You" page filled with videos talking about depression, mental health, and potentially discouraging Debbie Downer videos.
It’s imperative that parents stay in-the-know about the latest TikTok trends and know social media algorithms at a high level so that we, as trusted adults, can have informed conversations with our teens. I believe teens, being teens, unintentionally take advantage of the fact their little old parents don’t understand how social media works and get exposed to and away with more. And that’s where the trouble starts. TikTok and all social media can be a great outlet for teens to connect with friends and watch some fun content creators, but like with all things, is only healthy with careful balance.
A PARENT’S GUIDE TO VIOLENCE
Today we are going to tackle a tough subject together -- one that has become heavy on the hearts of all of us in America as we have watched horrors unfold on national television. If you are like me, on the afternoon of May 24th, you clutched your children tightly as tears rolled down your cheeks. How could this happen to our children? In the "safety" of their schools? Again? Literally every parent's worst nightmare.
I have no words but those of extreme empathy and love for all those moms and dads who are walking through these dark days in Texas. But to be honest, I also have feelings of confusion, fear, and anger. Why is our youth facing so much violence in their tiny worlds today? What kind of long-lasting effects is this reality going to have?
In a violent world, it’s hard to avoid the topic. For teens, who already have big emotions, violence is an even harder concept to grasp, and they often find themselves caught up in its repercussions.
The Bible tells us that God is good. Exodus 34:6 says, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth.” Still, it can be hard to believe that, especially when violent events seem to happen every day.
A huge piece of talking about violence is not talking; it’s listening. Violence has an emotional impact. Violence is horrible, and the emotions it carries with it are difficult to shoulder. Your teen may be in pain, and the best thing to do for someone who’s in pain is to listen. No matter what political or personal opinions you hold about something, a teen who’s feeling overwhelmed by the pain an event has caused isn’t likely to be in a position to hear them. So be the listening ear they need, and tell them you understand why they’re feeling the way they feel.
START THE CONVERSATION
I have no words but those of extreme empathy and love for all those moms and dads who are walking through these dark days in Texas. But to be honest, I also have feelings of confusion, fear, and anger. Why is our youth facing so much violence in their tiny worlds today? What kind of long-lasting effects is this reality going to have?
In a violent world, it’s hard to avoid the topic. For teens, who already have big emotions, violence is an even harder concept to grasp, and they often find themselves caught up in its repercussions.
The Bible tells us that God is good. Exodus 34:6 says, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth.” Still, it can be hard to believe that, especially when violent events seem to happen every day.
A huge piece of talking about violence is not talking; it’s listening. Violence has an emotional impact. Violence is horrible, and the emotions it carries with it are difficult to shoulder. Your teen may be in pain, and the best thing to do for someone who’s in pain is to listen. No matter what political or personal opinions you hold about something, a teen who’s feeling overwhelmed by the pain an event has caused isn’t likely to be in a position to hear them. So be the listening ear they need, and tell them you understand why they’re feeling the way they feel.
START THE CONVERSATION
- Less talking and more listening. Our kids have a lot to say about their observations, feelings, and fears about what they are seeing and hearing. Ask leading questions and let them talk through their feelings.
- Validate those strong emotions. There is no doubt that our kids (who already have BIG emotions going on right now! 🙈) will feel intense feelings about their world. Don't undervalue how they feel.
- Turn their passion into purpose. Our kids are not too young to make a remarkable difference in this hurting world. And we, as parents, can be lucky enough to have a front-row seat.
- Invite our God into our unrest. These moments are great opportunities for our teens to learn about who God is and what He thinks about our fears, feelings, and frustrations.
SO THAT ALL PEOPLE WILL EXPERIENCE THE LOVE OF CHRIST